know?”
“Yes,” they said in unison.
Randall did some more typing on the computer and spun the monitor around for them to see.
“You are both looking at your beautiful, healthy baby boy.”
Tears filled her eyes. The image wasn’t clear, but she knew it was their baby.
“A baby brother for Bethany. I love you.”
She thought about Bishop but pushed any fears aside. She wasn’t Bishop’s mother. She still saw her friend around town, but everything was different now.
“So, I expect you to rest. Get married, have more rest, and be ready. Boys can be quite a handful,” Randall said. “Do you have any questions for me?”
“None,” she said.
“Nothing,” Preacher said. He opened his jacket and pulled out some money. Randall took it, handing them back a picture of their son, and they left the office, heading out to the waiting car. She couldn’t go on his bike until after the baby was born. Preacher opened the door for her. She climbed inside and stared down at the ultrasound picture.
“You know, I didn’t get one for Bethany. Reaper was too worried in case it left a paper trail. He would never allow me to keep on.”
“The man was an asshole, but he was probably right. Most paper trails can be followed.”
She glanced over at him. His knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel. “So, a healthy boy.”
“Yep.”
She didn’t like his curt response. Nibbling on her lip, she tried to think of something more to say but came up blank. “Er, I don’t know what else to say.”
“There’s nothing more to say.”
“Preacher, what’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re acting different. I don’t understand why.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said. “Nothing at all.”
She stared straight ahead and nerves ate away at her. Why was he closing off from her? She didn’t understand it, nor did she like it. This wasn’t Preacher at all.
“I don’t understand what’s going on. Don’t even think about lying to me. Is this all a little too real for you now? Do you not want to marry me?”
“Don’t even think that.”
“Then what am I supposed to think? I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, do I? I don’t know what you want from me. We’re going to have a healthy, beautiful baby boy.”
“I heard.”
“Why are you angry?”
“Look what happened to the last son I had, huh? Look what I did to him. You know what, I don’t want to fucking deal with this right now. I’m not getting into this with you. Fuck it.”
“Please, Preacher, you’re not making any sense to me. This has nothing to do with Bishop.”
“It has everything to do with Bishop.”
“How?” She frowned, so confused. “We’ve had good news.”
“I wanted a little girl.”
“We’ve got a little girl.”
“I’m not… I’m not a good father, Robin. Can’t you see that? I’ve never been a good father.”
“You’re perfect with Bethany.”
“Yeah, because … I don’t fucking know why I’m good with her, but look what I did to Bishop. I fucked him up in ways I didn’t think was possible. I’m not a good man and you think I am.”
“Preacher, I have no expectations of you.”
“I’m going to ruin our child’s life. I just know I am.”
“He’s not even born yet.”
“You know what I mean,” he said.
“I don’t. I don’t have a clue why you’re so afraid. He’s going to be our son, and we will raise him together.”
“I don’t know what it means to be a good father.”
“Do you really think anyone in this world knows what it means to be good at anything?”
“I’m not talking about the world. I’m talking about me.”
“And I’m trying to get you to see that your fears are like every other man’s. You’re not the only person in the world who’s afraid of fucking up. We all are.” The tears she’d tried so hard to keep contained spilled down her cheeks.
“You think this is easy for me? I have one daughter who I forgot for nearly a year. I had no recollection of Bethany. I mean, wow, I saw her, touched her cheek in the supermarket, and I still didn’t recognize her. Yet, talking to me now, I wouldn’t think there was any way I wouldn’t be able to know my child. We can’t be held accountable for everything, Preacher.”
“I’m a bad fucking father and that’s all you need to know. This son of ours, it’s a mistake.”
She took his hand and placed it across her chest. “You think this is a mistake, but I say you’re so damn wrong. There’s