woke up.
She couldn’t be there to confront them, not after last night. She had to get away, to have some space.
You’re being selfish.
No matter how selfish it was, she had to do it in order to be free.
Seeing the pain in Preacher’s eyes last night, the way he’d ordered her away, it hurt more than anything she’d ever experienced in her life. This was a nightmare. How could she walk away from Preacher when just not being with him hurt more than anything else in her life? Yet, Reaper, why was she even struggling with this decision? It was all fucking wrong. It was nothing but a pain in her ass, every single second of it.
It was late when she finally got to the library, and she let herself through the doors to find Anne already behind the counter, serving a couple of kids.
“Hello … oh my, are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’d like you to meet Bethany, my daughter.”
“Last time I checked, you didn’t have a kid, Robin.”
“Yeah, well, a lot has since happened in my life, and believe me, none of it has been easy. It’s quiet. How do you feel about some coffee and a chat?”
“Why not?”
Robin went to put the kettle on while Anne entertained Bethany. After taking her out of the stroller, they placed her in the kids’ section, which was empty. Anne had to keep going back and serving customers but there were so few of them, Robin was able to get through the sorry tale of her love life and current issues without too many interruptions. Just saying them out loud was enough to make her ill. She didn’t want drama or complications. What happened to being the sane one of the club, where she helped? Since the moment Milly had done what she did, that bitch had set an entire path of pain. One Robin didn’t want to deal with but seemed to constantly be immersed in.
“Well, what do you think?”
“Wow, I’m kind of wow. That’s a lot to process.”
She left out the vital parts of murder and death, but other than that, she pretty much kept to the story. Of course, she didn’t need to know she was given the date rape drug the first time around, so Anne didn’t have all the facts.
“Yeah.”
“And this guy, Bethany’s father, he’s here now?”
“Yep. A nice added complication.”
“How do you feel about that? I mean really feel.”
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t … do you think I should move out? Or find another place to live? I need to be on my own. I don’t know if I can be on my own. Everything is so fucked up.”
“I … I mean, it’s an option as are all of these things. This kind of makes my issues with my husband seem pointless. I don’t have two men vying for my affection.”
“I don’t have two men. They just want to kill each other. In all honesty, I don’t even know if they love me. I mean, I know Preacher does. I hope he does, he has every right to hate me though. I’ve done nothing but cause him pain, heartache. Reaper, I don’t know what to think about him. He took me to hurt Preacher, I’m sure of that. I don’t know if he loves me, or loves the idea of hurting him.”
“I, no, it doesn’t matter,” Anne said.
“Please, talk to me. I’m surrounded by a lot of hatred right now. My best friend, well, he’s one of the reasons I’m here in this predicament.”
“Yeah, I’d want to beat the crap out of Bishop for what he did but you can’t take back any of this. You were happy with Preacher?”
“Yes, really happy.”
“And with Reaper?”
“Not in the beginning. I was taken and then I guess I made the best of the situation, you know? Trying to find that silver lining. Wow, can you even hear me right now? I made the best of a bad situation? How horrible do I sound?” She nibbled on her lip. “I’m an asshole.”
Anne laughed. “You’re not an asshole and I’m not stupid either. I guess you’ve left a lot of details out. But how do you feel about Reaper now?”
“Guilty, angry, sad. I’m confused because I’ve been with Preacher now, and I guess I’d resigned myself to a life with Reaper and I’d tried to forget what it’s like to be with him, you know?”
“I don’t know why you should feel guilty. I mean, yes,