and I deserve your hatred as well.”
“I don’t hate you anymore.” She sniffled. “I don’t think we’ll ever be best friends again. I believe that ship has long sailed, but I do want to be your friend, always,” she said.
“Robin, I don’t know. I can’t … I shouldn’t.”
“Please. A lot is happening in my life right now.” She put a hand to her stomach.
“I wish you and my dad a very happy future.” Bishop shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’ve got to get going. I’ve got to make some deliveries.” He took a step away from her only to stop, turn, and then hug her tightly. “I’m so fucking sorry for everything. If I could, I’d change it. I hope you know that.”
“Thank you.” She watched him go after he pulled away from her. As he did, all she wanted to do was cry. So much had been lost and wasted.
Due to Bishop’s petty jealousy, there was no real way of them ever getting their friendship back, and in truth, she didn’t know if she really wanted to.
Turning back to the library, she saw Anne waiting for her.
“You do know you could get sick by being out in the cold.”
“I’ll be okay.”
“You’ve got a death wish. You must have.”
“No, no death wish from me.” She sighed. “Do you think it’s possible for people to become friends again even when they’ve put them through hell, or are the cause of that hell?”
“I honestly don’t know. Basing it on Elijah and myself, it’s not possible. Not even close. Anything else, I’m not sure.” Anne put a comforting arm on her shoulder. “Tell me how everything is going with Preacher.”
“You know how everything is going with Preacher. He’s the kind of guy who…” She looked down at her finger. He wanted to marry her the moment she gave birth.
Her nerves about the birth hadn’t dissipated. If anything, they had gotten worse because she truly didn’t know what to expect. They were both floating into uncharted territory. To help with her nerves, Randall had agreed to extra visits. He wouldn’t do anything to harm the baby, but just to listen to her worries and concerns, which was more than she could have ever asked for.
Running fingers through her hair, she tried not to think about what had been going on in her life. So much had happened in what felt like a short space of time, but she knew it wasn’t even close. Taking a deep breath, she tried not to think too hard.
“He’s the kind of guy who…?”
“You know, he’s just a hands-on kind of person. Nothing will ever get past him.” She rolled her eyes. “I can’t even believe I’m talking about this with you.” She laughed. “This is all so crazy.”
“Of course it is. Life is crazy.”
“What is going on with you and Elijah?”
“The same old, same old. Only, he doesn’t like that I might be seeing someone.”
“Seriously?” Robin had an idea that the person she was seeing was, in fact, her father but she didn’t say anything.
“Yeah.”
“And is this thing with the other guy serious?”
“I don’t know. I mean, there are times that it feels like it is going somewhere, you know, but then I’ve been so far out of the loop, I wouldn’t even know what was up or down most days of the week. Elijah doesn’t know him. He knows I’m seeing someone. We have separate rooms now. The kids, I don’t know if us staying together is hurting them or not. The rumors suck, they always will.” Anne blew out a breath. “Enough about me. Let’s talk about you.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. The baby is fine. Preacher and I, we’re fine. We’re all fine. You know. No biggie.”
“Then why are you nervous?”
“I guess I’m waiting for something bad to happen, you know? It’s hard not to worry about the next thing. I can’t help but wonder. It’s fine. Ignore me.”
“It’s hard not to worry when you’re talking like this.”
She laughed. “I’m sorry. You’re right about everything of course. Ignore me.”
“No, I’m not saying don’t talk about it. Just tell me.”
They walked back behind the counter and Robin looked around the library. “I’m scared to be happy.”
“Because of everything else that has happened?”
“Yes. Shouldn’t I be afraid?” she asked. “The last time I was pregnant with Preacher’s baby, I couldn’t … it didn’t last.”
“I think you’re worrying about all the wrong things.”
“I don’t know. Between losing my memory, being kidnapped, marrying a guy who I wasn’t