Was Preacher hurt every time he saw them, or did he not care like last night when he took her?
Pushing all of her doubts aside, she instead focused on just getting ready. She took a quick shower and changed into some clothes. Preacher still had some of her old stuff in his closet and she pulled on a pair of jeans and a loose-fitting top.
She left her hair down, and she’d only dried it with a towel so there were damp spots.
Preacher had already taken her plate down and made the bed, and he was waiting for her at the main clubhouse. She didn’t allow herself to look in any direction. Anne was waiting for her at the door.
“Are you okay to drive?” Robin asked.
“I am. I just wanted to see you before I went. Last night was a total blast. I loved it, and thank you.” Anne pulled her in for a hug. “Preacher has already told me you’ve got some business to take care of. I’ll see you later, maybe? You think that will be fine?”
“Yeah, of course.” She held her friend close before watching her drive away. “Thank you for allowing her to have some fun.”
“A friend of yours is a friend of mine. We’re taking the car,” Preacher said. He opened the passenger door for her and she climbed in. She noticed he was checking his phone and typing a message.
“Anything important?”
“Just the guys.”
“Can I help?”
“No, it’s nothing to worry about.” He pocketed his cell phone and she tried not to think about how quiet and secretive he was being. This wasn’t like Preacher, at least not recently unless he was hiding something. Rather than worry, she looked out of the window and Preacher put on the radio.
Something was going down today. She didn’t know what it was, and her nerves took on a whole new level.
Was he doing one of his drug runs? Guns? She wasn’t a fool. Her mother had told her from a young age what it was her father and the club did. At first, she’d been so embarrassed, and she’d hated to even think about it, but now, she accepted it. She didn’t want a part in any of it. Drugs were something she never wanted to dabble in and guns, she hoped no one ended up dead. A stupid way to hope, but it was one that had gotten her through many a dark time.
They arrived at Reaper’s house and her hands shook a little. That she knew of, this was the first time Preacher had come to Reaper’s.
Both men once again together. They had lived together for a short time before Reaper got this place. Again, she didn’t ask how he got it, only that he now owned it, and she always felt a lot of stuff wasn’t her business. This wasn’t her life and it wasn’t her job to keep an eye on every single man in her life.
She took a deep breath, let it out, and did the same thing over and over again, trying to hide how sick she felt. The pancakes threatened to spill back up but rather than give them a chance, she climbed out of the car and simply breathed in deep, hoping to calm the fear filling her body.
Reaper opened the door. He held Bethany against him.
She smiled at seeing her little girl, rushing toward them.
“Hey,” she said. “How was she?”
“She’s been perfect. I thought you were spending the night with Anne,” he said. “Having a girls’ night.”
“Yes. I did. Preacher brought me back. I went to the clubhouse with Anne last night.”
“I see.”
She didn’t like his tone and he stepped away, still holding Bethany.
“I, er, I need to use the bathroom,” Robin said.
This wasn’t good. Reaper was angry. She instantly wanted to make him feel better. To soothe the monster so he wasn’t hurt. Taking a deep breath, she waited.
“You know where it is.”
She had to get some distance.
Without looking back at Preacher, she quickly escaped to the bathroom. After closing the door behind her, she leaned up against the counter, pressing her head to the cool tile. “You can do this. It’s not your problem he’s upset.”
In and out.
Deep breaths.
Don’t rush.
She didn’t have a problem. Reaper did. This wasn’t her fault.
It is your fault. You told him you loved him. You were willing to make a life with him. Now you’ve got to deal with the consequences. You don’t get to have a happily-ever-after. They’re for people who deserve it.