wasn’t ready to do. He never has, has he?”
“It seems not. So take the gift he’s giving you, the time he’s giving you, and truly consider what you want. Not what you think you should want. Not what he wants. Not what could happen or not happen no matter what decision you come to.” She squeezed her hands. “Emily, this is your heart, your future. It shouldn’t be considered lightly.”
“When I met Andrew, it was a lightning bolt for both of us,” Emily said with a sad smile, for she could no longer maintain the playfulness when it came to this subject. “I knew and he knew and everything fell into place perfectly. In this situation, there is so much more to determine. I must take the time and be more deliberative than my heart would perhaps like to be, I know you’re right.”
“I am.” Virginia glanced off toward Cav.
Emily followed her gaze. He was in profile now, standing with a handful of the men in attendance. He smiled and her heart fluttered.
“Do consider this, though, along with all the rest,” Virginia continued. “You were a lucky woman to marry one love of your life. Many in our circles don’t even get that. But to have two? That would make you charmed, indeed.”
Emily pursed her lips. “It is nothing to dismiss out of hand.”
“Indeed, it is not.”
Emily let out her breath in a long sigh. “I think I must speak to him. Let him know I’m going to take some time after the party, so he’ll stop jumping every time I look at him sideways.”
“Is he jumping?” Virginia said with a laugh. “He seems steady enough to me.”
“Yes, but I know his tells,” Emily said.
Virginia nodded. “Of course you do.”
Emily squeezed Virginia’s hand lightly. “Thank you.”
She heard Virginia’s response as she walked away, but could not have repeated it back to anyone if asked. She was too focused on Cav now. Especially when his gaze fell to her and sent a ripple of response through her.
She could only hope he would understand her need for time. And that if she took enough of it, her tangled mind would find the answer she sought.
Emily was coming toward him. He felt that before he turned and saw it was true. She was weaving her way through the crowd, a nervous look on her face that made him just as wary of what was about to happen. But he fought to keep his own expression clear and forced a smile as she reached him.
“Emily,” he said. “You and Lady Hickson seemed to be engrossed in important talk.”
Emily glanced over her shoulder. Lady Hickson had moved back into the crowd and taken a seat beside Wentworth Highsmith to watch the musicale continue.
“Perhaps my matchmaking failed on the whole,” Emily said. “But I think I have come out of this with a new and potentially very true friend. So I will count it as a success.”
“Good,” Cav said. “I hated to see you batter yourself over your plans.”
She smiled at him. “Yes. You are always looking out for me, it seems. More so than I even realized.”
He shifted, for the praise for what he thought of as a cowardly act was difficult to take. “I also protected myself, I fear.”
“Why would you not?” she asked. “Don’t judge yourself, either, Cav.”
“Is that what you came across the room to tell me?” he asked.
She caught her breath and he could see her discomfort as plain as her eyes or her hair or her pretty green dress. “Could we…could we step onto the terrace a moment? I need a moment of privacy with you.”
His hands shook, so he gripped them into fists to settle them as he said, “Of course. It’s not as cold today.”
They moved to the terrace doors and slipped outside together. Though it wasn’t as chilly as it had been during the party, the afternoon air was still brisk. But he hardly noticed the discomfort as he stared at her.
“What do you need to say?” he asked, breathless.
She worried her hands in front of her. Clenching and unclenching, over and over. “Everyone is leaving tomorrow, back to London or parts farther flung. And I know you were supposed to stay for luncheon and make your way back to London in a caravan with me. But…” She shook her head. “I think it might be best if you left with the rest of the party.”
All the blood left his limbs, and Cav had to clear his