away. Would allow him the future he deserved.
Only she didn’t feel particularly rational or reasonable as she glided onto the ice toward the others. Toward Cav and Abigail, who still had their heads together as they skated. What she was going to do, she had no idea. But certainly, it would be a rational, reasonable response. She could not lose her head. She would not.
Cav wasn’t the best of ice skaters, but he did enjoy it. And compared to some of Emily’s other guests, he was proficient. Even now Lady Abigail, who had staggered into him as she attempted even the simplest movement across the frozen water, clung to his arm, laughing.
Abigail was a lovely woman, with dark hair and brown eyes. She had a nice smile. In other circumstances, he might have been enchanted by the press of her hand on the crook of his elbow. The sound of her laughter echoing in the winter air.
Instead, he found himself watching Emily as she stood on the bridge where the stream fed into the lake. She was standing with Lady Hickson and looked very serious as they chatted. He could tell by the way her fingers flexed open and shut on the railing. Always a tell that she was troubled. Because of him? Because of something else?
“You know, Mr. Cavendish, any other lady might be offended not to have a gentleman’s full attention in a moment like this.”
He jolted at Lady Abigail’s voice and glanced down to find her watching him with a knowing gaze. “I apologize, my lady,” he said. “I was woolgathering. A foolish endeavor when one is balanced on a sliver of metal. And when in such good company.”
She smiled. “You needn’t apologize. It is evident you are distracted by Lady Rutledge. As you often are, I have observed.”
He felt his nostrils flare a fraction and tried to otherwise keep his reaction from his face. “Lady Rutledge and I are friends. I suppose I am sometimes concerned about her well-being.”
“Certainly,” Lady Abigail said. “As any good friend would be. There is also the fact you are in love with her.”
Cav nearly deposited himself on his arse on the ice, he was so taken aback by that statement. Many danced around this subject, trying to pry into something they didn’t understand or couldn’t fathom. But Lady Abigail said those words as if they were nothing, rather than swords to Cav’s heart.
He cleared his throat. “I—”
She shrugged. “No need to come up with some retort. I am very well versed in longing, sir. I recognize it when I see it.”
He shifted his attention back to her. Though she was smiling, he saw the flicker of pain in Lady Abigail’s expression. And like her, he recognized a kindred spirit in heartbreak.
“I see,” he said.
“And you needn’t worry. I would not speak of it to anyone else,” she continued.
He swallowed. There had never been anyone in his life to talk to about his feelings. Andrew had been his closest friend, and there was no way to broach the subject of Cav’s unrequited love for Emily without destroying everything. His grandfather knew, but his grandfather was always about action, not reflection. Hence his statement a few weeks earlier that this might be Cav’s last chance.
“I suppose,” he said slowly, feeling out how the words fell from his lips. “That my feelings may be deeper.”
“But she is resistant,” Abigail said softly. “Because of her marriage to your late friend, I assume?”
He nodded. “Very much so.”
She let out her breath in a long sigh. “I am sorry, Cavendish.”
“I appreciate it. Though I have put myself in this situation, haven’t I? By continuing to keep her close. By hoping against hope that one day things may change.”
“And will they?” Abigail pressed.
He worried his lip a moment. “I honestly don’t know. I make progress sometimes.” He thought of holding Emily in his arms all night. Of waking her with kisses. Of her smile before she left his bed. But now she wasn’t even looking at him. She pulled so far back that he almost couldn’t see her. “But then…”
“If you cannot win her, that would make things difficult for you. It would be unfair to your future bride.”
He bent his head. “I have considered that. Even if I only entered into a marriage of convenience, I do not think any wife would like my friendship with the love of my life. It would hurt her. But the alternative is losing the friendship, which does mean the