center of my universe, but I want her independent. Stand up for herself Ava is my favorite version of this girl.
Well. I’m a real fan of naked Ava, too. Clawing at my back and coming Ava. Gripping my hair while my head’s between her legs Ava is also pretty damn fine…
When the song ends, everyone applauds and shouts, and Jackson’s grinning as he rises to his feet with the guitar still clutched in his hand. Ava comes back to me with a giant grin on her face, flinging herself at me as she says, “That was so good!”
“You dancing around was pretty good too,” I tell her, settling my arms around her waist. “He loves that damn song. You want to hear a funny story?”
“Sure.”
“Last year in English, we had to write some freestyle poem as an assignment. Our teacher was like, write what you feel. Write your pain if you have to. Let me feel it with your words. So Jackson wrote, word for word, the lyrics to ‘Lucid Dreams.’ And our teacher made him read it out loud, calling it a masterpiece. We tried really hard not to laugh, but about halfway through, Jackson started cracking up, and we all did too.” I shake my head at the memory. “It was so damn funny.”
“Did he get in trouble?”
“No. The teacher yelled at us for being disrespectful when Jackson’s the one who started laughing first. I even said we were laughing with him, not at him, but he wouldn’t hear it.” I start laughing all over again. “Poor old Mr. Johnson. He retired after that school year. I blame ‘Lucid Dreams.’”
“He probably thought he had a poetic prodigy in his class.”
“Yeah, when he really had a plagiarizing asshole who stole from Juice WRLD.” I stop laughing. “RIP to that guy. Sucks that he died.”
“I know.” She makes a little sad face. “I should probably go get Ellie. We need to get home before her parents have a heart attack.”
“You’re spending the night at her house?” I raise my brows.
“Yeah, that way I don’t have to deal with my parents.” She presses her lips together, looking guilty.
Leaving me suspicious. “Are your parents cool with us together?” I ask.
“Uh…” Her voice drifts and I’m immediately defensive. “They don’t know I’m here with you.”
“Where do they think you’re at?” I ask her warily. Now I’m flat-out annoyed. I don’t want to be her dirty little secret any longer. That shit is beyond tired.
“At Tony’s,” she confesses, guilt flashing on her pretty face.
Everything good that just happened the past couple of hours blows up in my face. She’s lying. Hiding me. I had an issue with that before what happened last Friday night at her house. She promised after homecoming, she’d come clean. Everyone—meaning her family—would know we’re together.
Yet she didn’t tell them she came to see me. Is she afraid of their reaction? Is she scared they’re going to try and keep us apart? Or is it more convenient to keep our relationship a secret from everyone?
She’s putting on a show here. It suddenly all feels fake.
“This won’t work,” I say, my voice wooden. “If you’re going to keep hiding me—hiding us—then I can’t be with you, Ava. No matter how much I care about you, I refuse to be with a girl who’s ashamed to bring me home and introduce me to her family.”
Her mouth drops open and her eyes go wide. “I’m not ashamed of you.”
“Bullshit. You should’ve been honest and told your parents you were coming here to see me,” I throw out at her. “Maybe you should invite me over tomorrow, so I can hang out with the Callahans for the afternoon. Can you do that? Are you brave enough?”
Her eyes are luminous. Like she might cry at any moment. Seeing her tears would gut me, but damn it, the way she’s still hiding me has already left me gutted.
I can’t keep going like this.
“That’s what I thought,” I say when she hasn’t responded. “When you’re ready to tell everyone who you really want to be with, come see me. If you don’t have the guts, then leave me alone.”
I turn and walk away from her, my cold- blooded heart threatening to shatter. But that fucker is made of steel, so I know it’ll stay intact. Ava calls my name, but I don’t turn around. She doesn’t chase after me.
Fine. I didn’t think she would anyway.
Eleven
Ava
The back and forth of our relationship is killing me. I knew admitting