feels like it.
Though I guess everyone in his life has let him down at one point or another. Maybe he expects it and is almost—used to it. Deep down, maybe he always believed eventually I would betray him too.
“When you said that to him, it took everything out of him,” I tell Jake. “And he believes I’m the one who told you. Not Cami. Not anyone else. Me. That’s why he ended it.”
“Listen, do you want me to be real with you right now?” He quickly glances over at me.
No, I want to tell him. Absolutely not. Please keep your opinions to yourself.
My answer is a shrug.
“You’re better off without him, Ava. That guy isn’t good for you. He’s crazy. He’s a total fuckin’ wild card and you never know what you’re gonna get. I can’t stand by and let you be with that guy, knowing everything I know about him,” Jake explains. “I know you’re pissed at me. I’m still pissed at you, too. But someday, you’re going to thank me for getting that guy out of your life. I know you will.”
I just stare at him in shock. He firmly believes every word he’s saying. He did me a favor. He saved me from Eli.
No. He drove the boy I love out of my life, and now I’m alone.
“I love him,” I whisper. “Maybe you don’t understand what that’s like, being in love, though maybe you do with Hannah.” My voice raises as Jake comes to a stop at the light in the middle of town. “I’m in love with Eli Bennett, and nothing is going to change my mind about him. I will do whatever it takes to get him to talk to me, to listen to me. I will tell him what you told me, and I will make him see I didn’t do this. What happened isn’t my fault.”
“You can’t tell him shit,” Jake mutters, glaring at me. “This is between me and you.”
“I’m telling him,” I say firmly. “You can be mad at me for years over this, but I’m telling him the truth.”
“Such bullshit. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“I love how loyal you are to me,” I throw at him.
“I just fucking love how loyal you are to me!” The words explode out of Jake’s mouth, making me rear back so I can get away from him. “I’m your brother. Our dad is my coach. You cheer for our team. Yet you’re fucking around with our biggest rival’s quarterback? What the fuck is wrong with you, Ava? He’s nothing special! He’s all talk and no action! Stop being such a follower and quit falling for his bullshit!”
I blink at him, shocked by Jake’s outburst. Why does this all have to be about the rivalry? Last night’s game was the last time they ever have to play against each other again. The rivalry is done. Dead. Jake needs to move on.
So does Eli.
“Pretty sure he’s over you anyway,” Jake continues with a sneer on his face. “I saw on his IG story earlier that he’s having a party at his place with all of his fellow loser bros, and there are a bunch of chicks there too.”
“Stop talking,” I tell him, irritated. “Just—I don’t want to hear it.” And I can’t look at his story, thanks to getting blocked. Can’t ask Jake to look at it either. I’m sure he’ll offer up a running commentary during the entire thing, every word a slam against Eli and his friends.
“Truth hurts, right, baby sister? Lizzo doesn’t lie.” The light turns green, and Jake turns onto the street that leads to Hannah’s apartment building.
His smugness makes me want to choke him. I don’t normally have such violent thoughts toward my brother, but his nonchalance about this entire situation is maddening. My world has just collapsed, and he’s treating it like a big joke. Instead of being sympathetic, he’s hitting me with, “I told you so,” platitudes.
We say nothing else as we drive to Hannah’s. Once we pull into her building’s parking lot, I switch to the backseat of the truck while Jake goes to Hannah’s door to pick her up. And once she’s in the car, I talk to her, acting like nothing is going on.
But deep down, I’m quietly seething. How dare my brother dismiss my feelings for Eli so easily?
How fucking dare he?
Five
Eli
Goddamn, there’s a girl grinding her ass on my junk.
With my vision blurred, thanks to all the weed and whiskey I’ve