was, but you still keep your emotions buried deep, and when you finally explode, this is the result.”
A watery laugh escapes me. “What, me trying to punch my brother in the mouth?”
“That and you crying all over my shirt for the last five minutes.” He smiles, but I can’t. I’m still hurting, and while my father’s love is definitely comforting, it’s not enough.
Knowing Eli is upset with me, that he might not love me anymore…it’s so painful I can hardly take it.
“I’m sorry I hit Jake,” I say with a little sniff.
“Are you sorry you snuck Eli over to our house?”
I drop my head and nod once.
“Your mom and I were going to punish you,” he continues. “But maybe you’re punishing yourself enough already.”
“Punish me,” I say, the misery in my voice undeniable. “I deserve it.”
“You’ll have to apologize to Jake.”
That’ll be awful.
“I don’t want to hear any details, but your mother and I can only assume why you snuck out of the house late at night to meet Eli,” he says, and I lift my head, ready to explain myself. Dad shakes his head, silencing me. Which is a total relief. I don’t want to say too much by accident, and he definitely doesn’t want to hear it. “I don’t know how I feel about your choice in boyfriends.”
“Don’t worry,” I say miserably. “From what just happened, I figure Eli and I are through.”
“Maybe it’s for the best,” Dad says gently.
No, I want to scream. Eli is the best.
The best one for me.
“You’ll be grounded for a week. Go to school, go to practice, then come home. No hanging out with Ellie or your friends,” Dad says, and I’m shocked. My parents have never grounded me. Like, never in my life. And I haven’t given them any reason to either. Until now. Sneaking out to meet my boyfriend, eager to get naked with him in the hot tub. If they knew I’ve already been naked with him, they’d be so disappointed.
I hang my head in shame.
There are no other friends for me to hang out with but Ellie. Well, Dakota and Lindsey, but I’m sure once they find out I’m with Eli, they’ll drop me. Maybe even Ellie too. I kept this from her and I’m not sure why, but I know her feelings will be hurt. I tell her everything. Until now.
And look where it got me.
“That’s fine,” I say to my feet. “I’m going to bed now. Okay?”
He hugs me again, but it’s like I can hardly look at him. I’m grateful Mom didn’t come back downstairs and join our conversation. I’m close to breaking as it is. Seeing the sympathy all over her face would destroy me.
I run up the stairs and hide away in my room, locking the door. Like a robot, I walk into the connected bathroom and shed my robe—making sure I leave the #1 pendant on the counter—and panties after I turn on the shower. Stepping under the hot, steaming water, I let it wash away all of my sins. My troubles. My cares.
But it doesn’t work. They’re all still there long after the water shuts off and my body is dry. Reminding me that I’m alone. No more Eli in my life. No more of his wicked smiles, his funny words, his tender looks and delicious kisses.
It’s gone. All gone.
Lying in bed with the lamp still on, I clutch the #1 pendant between my fingers, turning it this way and that, watching the light glint off the gold.
At least I still have a piece of him.
Two
Ava
Tell me what I’ve heard isn’t true.
This is what I wake up to at—I check my phone—10:09 in the morning. A text from Ellie, and I can tell just from those few words that she’s upset with me.
With fear gripping my heart, I stare at the text, unsure how I should answer.
Maybe I shouldn’t answer at all. I need to think about this first.
I set my phone on the bedside table, the usual desire to scroll through social media first thing in the morning squashed. I have no interest in seeing what people have to say, or endless photos of everyone having a good time last night. I’m guessing a lot of people are talking about me. About Eli.
No thanks.
It was hard to fall asleep. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours, replaying everything that happened last night. It all started out so good. Going to comfort him after his