into a sad pout.
“Poor Mason. She was just asking if I had any spare tampons left, but...,’’ I say pointing down at my huge belly, and smile inside when Mason’s face turns pale. “I’m kidding.’’
“Yeah. I knew that,’’ he says shaking his head. He moves over to the sofa gesturing for me to sit down next to him. Not wanting to torture myself any longer than I have to, I move over to the sofa and sit down next to him, my body getting lost in the fluffy pillows.
“We need to talk about things,’’ he says looking at me intensely. “I really think you should move in with me Denny. I know I’ve been a jerk, but I can make this right. This baby deserves us to try.’’
“No. I’ve grown up in a cold, lonely home Mason. I don’t want that for our baby. It’s one of the reasons why I never told you in the first place. If I had told you back then would you have asked me to get rid of him?’’
“Her!’’
“Her?’’ I question confused.
“Yes, her. The baby is going to be a she. If you had told me back then I’d be saying the same things now. I want to give us a try.’’
“Mason, you couldn’t stand the sight of me. Now you want something to do with me because of the baby. I don’t want that Mason. I want someone to love me, to cherish me and believe it or not, be happy to be with me. I don’t want you to feel forced into a relationship you clearly didn’t want a few months ago,’’ I tell him sadly, feeling my eyes water as old feelings resurface.
“You really don’t get it do you? I’ve wanted you for years. I know I’m older, but I liked you when you started high school.’’
“You kicking me out the morning after the night we slept together tells me differently,’’ I snap lightly, a slight quiver to my voice.
“That night was the best night of my life, Denny. When I woke up you were sleeping, looking so peaceful and innocent with your ruby red lips, you’re flushed cheeks, and your blonde hair fanning around the pillow. My chest hurt just watching you. Then I went to get into bed and noticed the blood and it all hit me. I’d just taken your innocence. I felt like I was turning into my dad and I couldn’t do that to you. That night we didn’t make any promises to each other, but I felt everything was said with our actions, and then everything... everything went to shit. I honestly thought pushing you away was what was best for you at the time. I didn’t want you to end up with a waste of space like me,’’ he frowns, and I can tell by the look in his eyes he’s being sincere.
“So why break my heart the way you did, throwing all those girls you slept with in my face, Mason? You watched me suffering and you did nothing. You hurt me with those words you spoke that morning and they continued to hurt me each night in my dreams, haunting me.’’
I’ve not tried to stop the tears from falling, or hide them from Mason, but it’s no use. They fall heavily down my face.
“I didn’t sleep with them,’’ he whispers, his head down looking ashamed.
“Don’t lie to me Mason. I saw you with more than one girl. I even came to tell you the day I left to live with my Nan that I was pregnant, but with another girl walking out of your house, I didn’t want to interrupt. You looked really close,’’ I tell him, my voice heated. One thing I hate more than cheats and bullies, and that’s liars. Why people feel the need to lie to just get their way is beyond me. If you’re selfish enough to throw a good thing away, or do something that ends up with you needing to lie then you need to grow up and face the music and take responsibility for your actions.
“What you saw was what you wanted to see, what I needed you to see. If you had tried to talk to me, or beg me to take a chance on you just once, I would have surrendered and done anything you wanted. I never slept with any of those girls.’’
“What? I... I don’t... what?’’ I shake my head, not believing what I’m hearing. It all feels too much