Her body is weakening, but it hasn’t stopped her from screaming out bloody murder every time the urge to push comes. Without thinking I rip the gas and air the midwife gave her when we first arrived out of her mouth and into my own. The first suck of the stuff and I feel on cloud nine. Shit this stuff is good.
“I can see a head,’’ the nurse calls up from between Denny’s legs and I start sucking the life out of the gas and air until Denny snatches it back from out of my hand.
“Arrrggghhhhh,’’ she cries from the back of her throat, her head into her chest and her knees up as she pushes again.
Once it’s over, her body relaxes back on the bed, her breathing heavy and tears falling down her face. I had gotten her a cool washcloth not long ago, and I wipe her forehead trying to cool her down.
“I should have used a bigger vibrator,’’ she cries drugged up. “It hurts. I should have gotten one of those over the top thick ones. Mason, I hate you. I really hate you. You did this,’’ she screams just as another contraction comes and she starts to push.
Jesus Christ! I can’t take much more of this.
“That’s it Denny, keep going, just a little harder, come on...that’s it, one more,’’ the midwife encourages. “Dad would you like to come and see?’’
I look at her confused, wondering what she’s going on about, but then as I walk down the end of the bed I nearly pass out. I go dizzy and grip the bed for support with my eyes clenched shut.
“What? What’s going on? What are you looking at Mason?’’ Denny yells at me before bursting into tears. “You don’t love me. You don’t find me attractive,’’ she whines crying. “I knew you would leave me. Don’t leave me Mason.’’
“I’m not leaving you, baby,’’ I tell her, tears in my own eyes from seeing my girls head being born. “You need to give us one last push, Denny. You need to be strong okay?’’
She nods her head as another contraction begins and her face turns a bright shade of red and purple. It’s that bright I start to panic she’s going to pass out, but then I look down between her legs, which was half a mistake because it gave Denny the chance to grab my sore hand again.
After ten minutes into her pushing I learnt not to give her my hand, but words of encouragement. She nearly broke it, and if it wasn’t for the one midwife taking a look at my hand I would still be complaining it was broken, it throbs that much. So when I feel her fingers grip around my hand in a strong, tight squeeze I howl in pain.
“MASON,’’ she yells the same time I shout, “DENNY.’’
Then the whole room erupts in a baby’s cry and my whole world stops. I snap my head over to the midwife to find her holding Hope.
My baby girl.
She walks over to Denny keeping the baby in one hand as she lifts the flimsy nighty we changed Denny into over her head, placing the baby on Denny’s bare chest. My eyes don’t move from Hope, not even when the midwife starts to speak.
“Mason?’’ Denny calls snapping me out of it. Her voice is tired and soft and I know she’s feeling just the same as I am, if not more.
“Sorry?’’ I ask, wiping my face and feeling wetness coating my cheeks.
“Do you want to cut the cord?’’ the midwife asks again and I nod my head, my throat clogged up with a ball of emotion.
I grab the scissors she gives me and cut into the rubbery umbilical cord. Hope gives another loud cry, her lungs obviously in good working condition.
“Look what you did,’’ I whisper amazed to Denny.
“What we did,’’ she whispers back, her eyes still filling with more tears.
“I love you,’’ I tell her, leaning into give Denny a kiss on the forehead, then down to do the same to Hope. Her little fists fly out, followed by her chubby little feet. More tears fall from my eyes as I take everything in about her. She’s got a cute little podgy belly, and little button squashed nose and has a head of fair hair, obviously taking after her mother. I can’t tell who she looks like the most because to me, she looks like Hope Sophia Carter. I can’t see yet what colour her eyes