across them every day. His soul touched mine, wrapped around it, and cushioned it from all the terrible things in this world. Tears sprang to my eyes and dripped to my ears because my love for this man was too much for me to contain. There was no room in my heart, not when he already filled it to capacity. There was nowhere else for it to go, so it poured out in the form of tears.
He stopped thrusting, his eyes shifting back and forth to look into mine, like he didn’t understand my reaction.
“I’m just happy,” I whispered. “So happy with you…”
Eleven
Deacon
I leaned against the couch on the floor with Cleo beside me, dressed in sweatpants and sweaters since it was Christmas morning.
Derek had so many presents from both of us, so he ripped through them all, loving everything he got. Cleo picked out a LEGO rocket set that he loved, along with packaged astronaut food that she got through a contact at NASA. She even got him a rock from the Moon, one grabbed by Neil Armstrong.
Derek stared at the rock in his palm, as if he was so shocked by the significance of the artifact that he just couldn’t handle it. “I’m touching something that’s from the Moon, that’s made off of Earth—that’s crazy!” It was a small rock, but he still found a detail to study. “I’m going to look at it under my microscope.” He picked up the box with the microscope, a gift from me, and carried everything into his bedroom.
My arm was around her shoulders. “How did you pull that off?”
“One of my clients is pretty high up at NASA.”
“But still, I’m shocked.”
She shrugged. “They have a lot of rocks from the Moon they use for testing, but some of them have left the lab after they finished their quarantine. It’s rare, but I’m sure Derek isn’t the only kid to have one.”
“He’s gonna love you forever for this. Seriously.”
“Good.” She sipped her coffee. “Because I’ll love him forever.”
I pulled her close and kissed her hairline, loving the fact that she loved my son entirely on her own, that she had her own relationship with him that I never had to force. It was organic, natural, real…and it meant a lot to me.
“Want to open my gift now?”
“Yes.”
She crawled under the tree and grabbed a rectangular box before she returned it to me.
I shook it, just as she had with the lingerie. “Is this from Santa or you?”
“Me.”
I set my coffee aside and ripped through the wrapping before I came to a wooden box. I opened the lid, and sitting inside was a black stethoscope. There was a pattern along it, but it was difficult to make out. I lifted it and took a closer look.
It was pictures of Derek everywhere, pictures of us at the cabin together, or at lunch, the beach house, every place we’d been. I examined it for a long time, remembering every memory from every photograph.
“Do you like it?”
I finally turned back to her. “I…I love it.” I put it around my neck and let it hang down. “It’s perfect.” Anything after the watch would always be less special, but this…was pretty amazing.
“Now you’ll always have Derek with you…especially at this age.”
“Yeah…I’ll use it forever.” I hugged her into me and kissed her. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I grabbed the gift I had for her and handed it over.
“You got me something else?” she asked in surprise. “Should I open this in private?”
I grinned. “No. It’s PG.”
She opened it then got to the small box, the jewelry company logo on top. It was one of the most expensive designers in the world, so it was rare and most people didn’t really know what it was, but when she gasped, I knew she must have recognized it. “Deacon…I can already tell you this was waaaaaay too expensive.”
“Nothing is too expensive for you.”
She opened the lid and revealed the bracelet inside, white gold with diamonds, a thick chain. She stilled as she stared at it, her eyes wide, like she couldn’t believe I would get something like that for her. “Uh…oh my god.” She took it out of the box and held it gently, as if she were afraid she would break it. “Deacon, seriously, you did not—”
“I can do whatever I want.” I’d never bought her anything before, just a few dinners. And I wanted to get her something nice, something that would make her feel like she was just as