her down to her knees. She waited for the pain to strike, for those rhythmic cramps to come back, for that process to once again establish dominance over her body and her mind.
I don't know whether it will work, but if you're willing, I'd like to do what I can.
Layla all but ripped off her clothing, shedding what covered her in a mad dash. And then she was on the toilet.
No bleeding.
No cramps.
Half of her went into a sorrow so deep, she feared there was no bottom to the emotion - in a strange way, during the process of the miscarriage, she'd felt as though she'd still had some kind of connection with her young. If it was over? Then the death was complete - even though logically she knew there was naught that had lived or was capable of survival; otherwise, the pregnancy wouldn't have terminated itself.
The other half of her was struck by a resonant hope.
What if...
She took a shower quickly, in spite of the fact that she didn't really know why she was rushing, or where she would go.
Looking down at her stomach, she ran her soapy hands over the smooth, flat stretch of skin.
"Please...anything you want, take anything you want...give me this life inside of me, and you can take anything else...."
She was talking to the Scribe Virgin, of course - not that the race's mother was listening anymore.
"Give me my young...let me keep it...please...."
The desperation she felt was nearly as bad as the physical stuff had been, and she stumbled out of the shower, drying herself roughly and throwing on clean something-or-others.
From what she'd watched of the television, human women had tests they could take themselves, sticks and whatnot apparently designed to inform them of their body's procreational mysteries. Vampires had nothing of the sort - at least, not of which she was aware.
But males knew. They always knew.
Bursting out of her room, she hurried in the direction of the hall of statues, praying that she ran into someone, anyone -
Except Qhuinn.
No, she didn't want him to be the one who figured out whether a miracle had happened...or nothing had changed. That was just too cruel.
The first door she came to was Blaylock's and she knocked on it after a hesitation. Blay had known about the situation all along. And at his core, he was a very good male, a strong, good male.
When there was no answer, she cursed and turned away. She hadn't checked the time, but given that the shutters were up and there was no scent of dinner being served down below, it was probably in the middle of the night. No doubt he had gone fighting -
"Layla?"
She wrenched around. Blay was leaning through the doorway of his room, his expression one of surprise.
"I'm so sorry - " As her voice cracked, she had to clear it. "I...I - "
"What's wrong? Are you - whoa, easy, there. Here, let's get you to sit down."
As something came up and caught her bottom, she became aware that he'd settled her on the gold-leafed bench just outside his room.
He knelt down in front of her and took her hands. "Can I get Qhuinn for you? I think he's - "
"Tell me if I'm still pregnant." As his eyes peeled wide, she squeezed his palms. "I need to know. Something..." She wasn't sure whether Payne wanted her to talk about what had gone on between them. "I just need to know whether it's over or not. Can you...please, I need to know...."
As she started to babble, he put his hand on her upper arm and stroked it. "Calm down. Just take a deep breath - here, breathe with me. That's it...okay..."
She did her best to comply, focusing on the steady, even tone of his deep voice.
"I want to call Doc Jane, all right?" When she started to argue, he shook his head firmly. "You stay right here. Promise me that you won't go anywhere. I'm just going to grab my phone. You stay here."
For some reason, her teeth started to chatter. Odd, as it wasn't cold.
A second later, the soldier came back and knelt down again. He had his phone up to his ear, and he was talking.
"Okay, Jane's coming right now," he said as he put the thing away. "And I'm going to hang here with you."
"But you can tell, can't you? You can tell, you can scent it - "
"Shhh..."
"I'm sorry." She turned her face away, dropping it down low. "I don't