supposed scar on his cock, and by the time I’m done, he’s grinning down at me.
“My clever silana.”
I shrug, unsure of how to respond.
He slides his palms down my neck, over my shoulders, and then lightly grips my hips. My heartbeat accelerates as disquiet skitters through me. For the life of me, I don’t understand why I feel so weird around my husband. I just had his baby, for fuck’s sake, yet his touch has me wanting to back away even though I know he’d never hurt me. This feeling does not stem from fear.
It’s as if he’s a stranger to me.
“You look weary,” Jaxar says, his gaze roving over me. “And I’m sure our son needs you, so why don’t you rest while I retrieve him?”
He doesn’t wait for me to say anything, opting to pick me up and carry me to the bed. Once I’m settled, Jaxar places a kiss to my forehead and leaves.
I close my eyes, my thoughts bombarding me to the point my head hurts. Everything is okay now, yet there’s turmoil somersaulting inside me. I have no idea how much time passes, but at the sight of Jaxar walking in with my son and daughter, I’m instantly alert. Extending my arms, I eagerly wait to hold them. Tika crawls on my lap once Kharis is settled at my breast. The second his golden eyes fasten on me and Tika’s hand is in mine, all is right in the world. Well, for now.
The rest of the day passes with me napping, eating, talking to Tika, and feeding my son. Jaxar never leaves, always waiting for the baby to finish nursing so he can scoop him up. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think Jaxar enjoys holding my son more than me. It softens my heart toward my husband but fails to erase the unease that churns in my gut.
Tika stays with us for a while, but after she complains of boredom, Yania comes to give her relief. My friend has to assure me several times that my daughter is fine and does not feel abandoned in the slightest. Given the way Tika sprints outside, I’m guessing she’d rather be with her friends anyway. There are more of them now that the clans are together.
Scarlett, Jeanine, Charlotte, and even Vivian come to see me and Kharis during one of my awake periods. At that point, I start weeping, so overjoyed to be surrounded by friends and family. They coo and fuss over me, and all I do is cry harder. Just because my stomach isn’t a blimp anymore, it doesn’t mean my hormones have gone back to normal. Damn it.
By the time the sun sets, I’m emotionally exhausted, but when Anwa stops by, I’m happy to see her.
“Good evening, Massela. Forgive my tardiness, but the Masse did not want me to interrupt you while you rested earlier.”
Jaxar’s thoughtfulness pricks my heart, but I push it aside and wave her over. “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’re here now.”
After that, she asks me a series of questions concerning the baby and my body, which I answer, encouraged by the smile on her face and her words of praise. She also does a thorough examination of my son and has to assure me three times that he is not premature before I let the subject drop.
However, the next topic is no better.
“You seem to be fully healed,” Anwa says, inspecting between my legs. “I will remove the poultice, and you should be able to resume your normal activities.”
I inwardly laugh when I imagine all the leaves in my cunny. I guess I did end up with a bush inside there after all. But my amusement halts when I replay the last part of her sentence in my mind.
I eye her warily. “What activities?”
“Sex, of course.”
“Nope.” I shake my head, my eyes wide. “On my planet, we need six weeks to recover from childbirth, so there’s no way I’m ready for that.”
The healer cocks her head, her brows rising. “That is a very long time. I could understand if your body sustained much damage, but the swelling is gone. Are you experiencing any discomfort?” When I tell her no, a frown pulls at her mouth. “Then I don’t see a need to wait. Unless something else pains you?”
“No,” I mumble.
How can I explain that the idea of having sex with my husband isn’t appealing right now? Maybe that’s not normal, but the emotional turmoil I’ve dealt with