dirty look. “I’m having my baby right now, not yours.”
As I leave the tent, his bellows follow me as he shouts my name over and over. I’d smirk at the idea of Grefina hearing it if I weren’t in so much pain. I don’t care what Anwa says; I need the Boraq equivalent of an epidural because this shit hurts, and I’m not even sure how much longer I have to go.
If Vivian’s delivery was any indication, I’m fucked.
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at the situation, Boraq spill from the dwellings that surround mine. Their bright eyes of various colors latch onto me as I waddle in the direction of Anwa’s tent, and I can only imagine what they’re thinking. A couple of my tribe’s warriors skid to a halt at seeing me, quickly running their gazes over me. After that initial assessment, they race in Jaxar’s direction, and I pick up my pace. I have nothing to be scared of, yet unease slithers along my spine when I think of them finding their Masse incapacitated on the floor.
“Massela.”
At the sound of Anwa’s voice, tears fill my eyes. I frantically search for her, no longer able to hide the fear that’s swelling within my gut, and all but throw myself into her arms. She steadies me, and the feel of her embrace is a soothing balm to my emotional torment.
“Come, it’s time,” she says, gently patting my hair.
Anwa leads me away with several of the Boraq looking on, so I tilt up my chin, putting on a brave face. For now.
I might be screaming like a banshee here shortly, and then that act of courage will mean jack shit.
After ducking inside Anwa’s tent, she gestures to the bed. “How long have you been having pains?”
I sit on the edge and scrunch my face as another contraction hits. When it’s over, I try to estimate how many minutes ago this started. “A while now. I was having a heated discussion with the Masse, so I dismissed the pain as nothing more than fake contractions due to my stress.”
“Based on your soiled clothing, I’d venture to say your water broke.”
I nod. “It started hurting so much after that.”
“That is normal.”
She walks over to a nearby trunk and opens the lid to retrieve an unsullied nightgown. After handing it to me, she makes her way over to a shelf full of encased herbs, stacked bowls, linens, and other things. As she gathers various items, I remove my old clothes before slipping on the new and settle myself in the center of the bed. I don’t lie down because that’s never been a comfortable position for me and instead choose to remain upright. I’m sure this delivery will knock me on my ass, but for now I want to do more than stare at the ceiling as I writhe in agony.
“Are your pains coming closer together than they were in the beginning?” Anwa asks, coming to stand beside the bed. She places her basket of things near my hip, and I peer at them even though I know nothing of the Boraq medicines.
Well, I do know they use leaves for everything. But that’s the extent of my medical knowledge. When Jaxar and I got married, I had some lingering soreness the next morning, and Anwa offered to give me something for it. The idea of putting a leaf in my vagina was just beyond me at the time, but now I’d stick a whole fucking bush up there to get rid of the pain.
“I think they’re closer.” I pause as another contraction hits, squeezing my eyes shut. The healer remains quiet by my side, and I’m so grateful. Just knowing she’s there gives me some security but not enough to remove my fear.
I breathe a sigh of relief when the agony passes and then smile grimly at her. “Jaxar and I were arguing, so I’m not really sure.” The lack of judgment in her gaze loosens my tongue, and for some reason, I want to talk about my marital problems despite the fact that they are humiliating. It could be so that I have a distraction from the looming thoughts of death trying to penetrate my mind, or it could simply be that I need a sympathetic ear.
“He’s been sleeping with someone else,” I say, hanging my head, unable to look at her. I’ve never understood why women beat themselves up for their husbands being assholes, but now that it’s happened