start crying.
Or both.
“You’ve done more than enough,” Jaxar says. “But I’m sure there is still something you can assist me with.”
“Of course,” Grefina purrs, making me stiffen to the point my spine almost cracks. “You’ve come to me every night, and I haven’t turned you away unsatisfied yet. So please tell me, Jaxar.”
I stumble away from the tent as my stomach heaves, and I almost puke right then and there. Fortunately, my body decides not to, and I make it a fair distance from the tent before I sink to the ground in a stupor.
I fucking knew it.
Jaxar has been cheating on me because if he wasn’t, Grefina wouldn’t have used his given name. No Masse allows anyone to use their name from before they assumed power except their silana.
A gentle breeze skims my arms, but I barely feel it. The emotional turmoil within me is too great for me to focus on anything else. I know that this pregnancy hasn’t been easy, especially with the hormones, my swollen feet, and me having to pee all the time, but this baby is what Jaxar and I want.
So what is he doing with Grefina?
I lose track of time as I sit there, pondering all the possible explanations. Finally I come up with a couple of contenders that have me grinding my teeth. The first is that he must not desire me anymore. Maybe the sex is not good for him, since we are limited on what we can do because of my belly. Or it could be that he just isn’t attracted to me in this state. The second theory is that he doesn’t like me being emotional. I’ve always known it was hard for him to not only communicate his feelings but also deal with mine. Perhaps it’s been too much for him, especially considering it’s not really part of his culture. And the last, and most hurtful, idea is that he no longer loves me.
Because if he did, Jaxar would not be doing this.
A drop of rain lands on my arm, and I look up only to note there’s not a single cloud in the sky. Great, my face is leaking. So I continue to stay seated and cry until I grow worried I’m dehydrated. I lament over my broken heart and my marriage, but most of all, I cry about what this will mean for Tika and my unborn child.
If I don’t do anything about it.
After wiping my tears, I get to my feet as determination fills my chest. I may not be a perfect wife, but I’m a damn good one, all things considered, and I refuse to give up on Jaxar. No matter how fucking dumb he is. That stupidity does not bode well for my child, but I’ll just pray that that gene skips him or her.
I take several deep breaths to calm my racing heart because I am on the verge of losing control over the anger building inside me. Both Jaxar and Grefina better hope I don’t go batshit crazy, since I’m feeling quite violent at this moment.
“Don’t worry,” I whisper to my baby, rubbing my stomach. “I’m going to bring your daddy back to you. I just have to help him remove his head from his ass first.”
I all but march back to the tent where I heard Jaxar and Grefina talking, but by the time I get there, I don’t hear any voices. Or sounds of people having sex, which is a great relief. That would’ve prompted someone’s murder for sure.
One double homicide, coming right up.
Torn between looking for my husband and waiting for him at home, I decide I’d be more comfortable in my own space. It may be the middle of the night, but I don’t want people seeing me lurking like a psycho.
They can just hear me shouting like one when I finally find Jaxar.
It begs the question as to why no one has noticed my husband creeping around? I know that I haven’t been able to follow him, since I’m always staying with Tika, but surely someone would’ve seen him and told me? The Boraq always say what they’re thinking, so I have no doubt one of them would have said something. Unless they assisted him in hiding his infidelity because of their loyalty to him.
With these thoughts swirling around in my brain like a cyclone, I head in the direction of my tent. It may take all night for Jaxar to show up, but when he