me, and his new loyalty to Adrian and the Caldwells.
“I’m sorry to intrude on and Adrian’s and your time like this.”
Kane waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “Don’t even think about it. Adrian understands the importance of family, probably better than anyone I know.”
My chest hollowed. I didn’t doubt that at all. If Adrian was anything like Leo, his family was the most important thing in his world.
Fresh regret over my past behavior brought with it the bitter taste of the age-old jealousy that used to plague me whenever I entered Leo’s bubble and got to experience his family and all I longed for in my own home.
And suddenly, I couldn’t lie to him anymore. Not even by omission. “Can I tell you something without being judged?” I murmured as I met his gaze.
“Of course. You can tell me anything. You know that.” He straightened and cracked the eggs into a bowl before picking up a fork to beat them.
“It’s… It’s that Leo Caldwell really isn’t a fan of mine.”
But he nodded again. “I’d kind of gotten that impression. He definitely gives off a vibe that says he isn’t a Shayne Abbott fan.” The fat in the frying pan hissed as Kane poured in the egg and vegetable mixture. “In case you’re wondering, I haven’t asked Adrian about it, and he hasn’t told me anything. I figured you’d clue me in when you were ready.” He looked at me again. “You ready now?”
I nodded and inhaled a sharp breath. Then my words came out faster than usual. “Back in high school, I hurt Leo. And I’m pretty sure I broke his heart. I really want to make it right.” I hesitated. “But I don’t know where to start.”
“I get that. But depending on what you did, it could be really hard to make amends on this. Don’t rush anything, and allow Leo to be the one who decides if he wants a reconciliation. You have to be respectful of Leo.” He shrugged and smiled sadly. “I’m afraid this is something you don’t get to decide.”
“I know.” Fuck, I knew. I knew it all. I couldn’t push, no matter how much I wanted to make amends. “I won’t do anything to hurt Leo again. I’ll wait until he’s ready.”
“That might be never, though. Do you think you can handle that if it’s the case?” Kane’s words of caution sent nervous adrenaline racing through me.
“Yeah, I can,” I replied, but it was a lie.
I’d never stopped loving Leo and working on the documentary had made everything so clear to me. I felt only sorrow for the pain I’d caused him. Living life with regrets and leaving past hurtful behavior unacknowledged was no way to live at all. I had to do everything in my power to make our past up to Leo, to show him that I still wanted him and that I’d do anything for him.
I still loved him.
3
Leo
My music pounded through my earbuds, the only other sound in my head my own breathing. Every inhale roared through me, every exhale pushed out for miles. Around me, muscle-bound guys pumped iron and thumped their feet against moving treadmill belts while they watched their achievements as moving numbers on the screens in front of them.
I recognized a lot of these guys, but I expected to after coming here every day and doing my workouts. Today, I stood, doing my biceps curls, but as much as I tried to ignore the other guys in the room, I caught more than one looking my way.
Old insecurities came rushing back as I kept my gaze straight ahead, refusing to blink until my eyes almost watered from the strain. They wouldn’t see me weaken and hesitate in my workout, no matter how much they watched and laughed it up.
Judgment was nothing new, but it distracted me, and I lost count of my reps. I shook my head, trying to find my focus and started again.
When I glanced around between exercises, no one was watching, but they probably hadn’t been in the first place. I wiped the back of my neck with a towel and left it draped there for a moment. I needed to get out of my head, step out of my own way.
I wasn’t that same guy I was when I’d started coming to the gym all those years ago, wearing layers of clothes to conceal the body I hated. I remembered every single sweaty movement, every wet drop that rolled down my