own any slave?”
Oh shit.
The MacKenzies all exchanged glances. His dad chuckled and wiped a single bead of sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief. “We don’t get asked that question a lot. From what I know about our family’s deeds, our ancestors bought the farmland after the Civil War ended.”
My parents went back to eating the cream pie and didn’t have any additional farm/slave questions.
When the check came, all the parents clawed for the bill. In the end, Mr. MacKenzie Senior grabbed it the quickest. He was also the tallest, so playing keep-away with the check by holding it far above and behind his head was easy for him. He waved down the waiter and handed him a black Centurion American Express card, the same one Jane had. That had a $10K annual fee or some wild shit like that. Were all tobacco farmers like this?
My parents thanked the MacKenzies for paying for lunch. As we all walked out of the restaurant, my mom said, “You should come over tomorrow morning for our continental breakfast. It free. They have croissant, cream cheese pastry, and slice bagel. We will be there just two day.” She leaned in and whispered, “They won’t check for room key.” Mr. and Mrs. MacKenzie smiled civilly and graciously declined. It bothered me that my parents didn’t invite ME for free breakfast. I was always down for free food.
My dad said to the MacKenzie elders, “Very nice meeting you.” He and Nolan Senior shook hands. Then Dad turned to Nolan and patted his back. “We give our blessing if you want to marry Melody someday.”
My jaw dropped, and Nolan’s did too. I glanced at the MacKenzie elders, and both of them looked like someone had jumped out of a bush and yelled, BOO! Here’s your new daughter-in-law! My parents ducked into my car and slammed the doors while I stood there quietly with all three MacKenzies, pulse racing, trying to process what had happened. Before I could apologize on my parents’ behalf, my dad leaned over from the passenger seat and beeped my horn four times.
Ready.
To.
Go.
Now.
If this were a play, this is where I would yell, “And . . . end scene!” for comic relief. But, unfortunately, this was not a play. And there seemed to be no end to this insanity.
I’m so sorry, I mouthed to Nolan. I jumped into my car and drove the Joo family away at breakneck speed. Too bad we didn’t wager on who had the most embarrassing parents. I would have gotten my $20 back.
CANDACE TEXTED ME while I was unloading my parents’ luggage at Holiday Inn. Her court marriage appointment had been delayed a couple of hours, but it was back on again.
After circling the courthouse and coming to terms with the fact that no street parking was available in the vicinity, I drove under the building where every full hour of parking was $5.
The judge, Candace, and Wil hovered together, each with a pen in hand, just as I entered the courtroom. When Candace saw me walk into the courtroom, she squealed, “Oh my god, Melody! You made it! You get to witness us getting married! I’m still single right now for a few more seconds!”
The judge chuckled and waved me forward. The court-appointed witnesses had just picked up pens to sign the papers, but the judge allowed me to sign the document as witness number one. I scanned the room for Jane.
Wil noticed. “Jane? She was here a few minutes but had to leave once our appointment got bumped.”
After putting my name to paper, I took a photo with the happy couple. Candace, in a gorgeous sleeveless silk dress looked stunning. Wil looked pretty good, too, wearing a classic black tuxedo with a silver bow tie. Candace’s bouquet was an assortment of wildflowers tied together in a thick ribbon that matched her dress.
The judge smiled and declared Candace and Wil, Mr. and Mrs. Fung, husband and wife. Candace and Wil kissed for my photo and then continued to kiss about fifty times. I’d never attended a wedding so short.
The photographer tapped his foot. “We need to get to the museum for the photo shoot before it gets too dark. A storm is coming, and I don’t want it to ruin your photos.” Translation: get out of their way and let them do their planned photo thing. I waved to Candace and Wil as they drove away in their Jeep, with cans tied with strings clattering along as they