pulled up to the Stallions Club in a gleaming white Cadillac. A bouncer/valet/footman came to our passenger door and opened it for us. Under his black shirt and black pants, you could tell this guy had major muscles. I mean, he had deep indentations where the in-between muscle parts were. This guy was a stripper, too, right? He had to be.
“Welcome to the Stallions. My name is Carlos.” He rolled his R a long time, which made his name sound both sexy and comical. A weird combo, but I liked it.
Jane and I tugged Candace out of the back seat. Now that she was further along in her pregnancy, little things like pulling herself out of a bucket seat were no longer trivial.
“Thanks for the assistance!” Candace smoothed out the back of her skirt. We all entered the venue exuding a direct representation of our personalities. Jane walked in like she owned the fucking place. I looked around guiltily, like a teenager who sneaked out of the bedroom window to go see a strip show with a fake ID, and Candace, well, she just giggled at everything. The cheesy dance music, the steamy hot hosts, and S&M-themed decor caused her to erupt into hyperventilating giggles. Was enough oxygen getting to the baby?
This was my first strip club outing and I had no idea what was supposed to happen. Jane whispered something to the host, and he smiled. “Yes, please come this way to the VIP room.”
“Don’t worry, it’s on me,” Jane said coolly.
I asked, “Why do you look so at ease here?”
She laughed and tossed her hair back. “All the guys I work with go to strip clubs. Sometimes I need to go, too, because we’re entertaining clients, or someone gets promoted and the team’s congratulatory outing is at a strip joint. At first it felt icky and uncomfortable, but now I’m desensitized to all this. Think of it as a show, and these guys here are all actors.”
“Really hot, muscular, sexy actors,” Candace squeaked. Pipe down, horny preggo girl!
“Speaking of actors, remember, the goal for tonight is to hire some of these guys to be cosplayers. We’re not here to . . . engage.”
Jane said, “Right. Hire strippers to play strippers at your nerdy trade show. Got it. Let’s hurry up and go to the VIP room! They’ll have the hotter guys there who know what they are doing. They put the more inexperienced guys on the main floor.”
My purse vibrated. A new text alert from Nolan. You at work? Order dinner?
I replied immediately. Nope, long story, will explain later. I’m at a strip club. Please don’t ask.
Jane looked over my shoulder and then smacked my arm. Hard. “Who’s thaaaaat?”
I shook my head. “Just a coworker. You need to focus. I need to recruit people for the show, remember?”
Candace nodded. “And in case your coworker is maybe more than just a coworker, you don’t want to look desperate by being so available.”
“Like a hooker with no clients,” Jane added, raising her drink. Thanks, Jane.
“You both are reading too much into this,” I said, shaking my head.
The host bypassed the central area by taking us down a lengthy hallway. Dark red velvet walls lined the corridor, giving this place a sensual, almost carnal vibe. It looked a little bit too much like traveling down someone’s birth canal.
I shouted above the music, “Remember to look for friendly, approachable types.”
The VIP room looked smaller than what I had imagined. The decor was minimalistic, like a fancy IKEA modern living room, but with black couches and red walls. The music didn’t make the walls vibrate in here, but I still had to yell over it at times.
A six-foot, blond, European waiter with zero percent body fat walked in, wearing only a red thong.
“Oh wow,” Candace yelped. Oh wow, indeed.
“Where do you guys put your name tags?” I asked.
He winked at me. “I’m Marco. Don’t worry, you will not forget my name.”
Jane, Candace, and I exchanged looks and burst out into laughter. If I wasn’t such a fish out of water here, like if this was a regular dance club, I could actually see myself drinking with my girls and having a good time. But it wasn’t a regular ol’ club. How had I conceived a game centered around characters like Marco, someone I was so utterly awkward around?
Jane asked, “Mel, you’re looking for someone friendly and approachable, right?” She grabbed a black VIP menu off the side table.
“Are you ordering drinks? I need