for our protagonists, the better.”
Kat shook her head. “Melody, that is so absurd.”
“Look, I didn’t set the precedent on this stupid shit. You know that game Metal Gear Solid V? Kojima, the creator said his female assassin runs around in a chain mail bikini because she breathes through her skin through photosynthesis! At least my case for seminudity sounds a teeny bit more scientifically plausible. We can even have characters hunt for vitamin D supplements in the game. Or power up by purchasing vitamin packs.”
Kat burst out into a fit of giggles. “That’s some crazy-ass shit you made up. You’re not even drunk or high or anything. I love it.”
“Ladies, mind if I scooch around you to get some sugar?” Ian stood just a few inches behind us with a smirk on his pompous face. How long had he been there?
Kat sighed. “Good talking with you, Melody. Swing by my office sometime. I have a stack of game production books I can loan you. Too bad our conversation got cut short.” The look she threw Ian was a cross between disappointment and revulsion.
Ian cocked his head coyly. “Hey! Don’t mind me, I just wanted a quick cup of coffee. You ladies can continue talking about your game ideas.” He grabbed a sugar packet and tore the corner.
Kat looked at the wall clock. “Time for me to get back and work on some character designs. Bye, all!” I said goodbye, too, and marched a few feet behind her with my drinks, leaving Ian standing near the coffee accoutrements all by himself. Most people would jump at the opportunity to chat with the company’s CEO one-on-one, but not me. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
As the café door closed, Ian bellowed, “Keep those ideas flowing, ladies!”
I CLEARED A spot on Asher’s desk for his coffee next to his cyclops alien miniatures and headed to the parking garage. Even though the coffee helped, I still needed that nap.
No one else was there. My car was near the main entrance in between a Subaru wagon and one of Ian’s many luxury cars, a bright red Porsche Classic, which had the vanity plate “KAIZEN5.”
I slipped into my car without being seen. I reclined my seat to a horizontal position and let out a yawn so wide that my watery eyes spilled tears that leaked into both ear cavities.
So. Tired.
Wet ear canals.
And . . . finally . . . sleep . . .
“Hello?! Are you still there?! I can talk now! I canceled the five o’clock meeting so we can discuss everything.” Ian’s booming voice from next to the Porsche shook me awake. “I’m in the garage because my office walls are so goddamned thin. No one is here, though.” I couldn’t see his exact position, but judging by the sound of his megaphone-like voice projection he was standing only a few feet away, very close to my 180 degree–angled body.
Ian again?
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Please don’t see me. Please don’t see me.
Drawing in slow and deep breaths, I tried to imagine playing a corpse on television. My heart thumped so loudly I bet Ian could hear it, like Edgar Allan Poe’s telltale heart, but much worse because there was no mystery or intrigue surrounding my situation. I was simply a fucking idiot taking a nap in a car when I should have been upstairs, working.
Ian had paused to let the person on the phone talk, but it was now his turn. “We have some amazing game concepts that are in various stages of ideation and development.” As I lay there barely consuming oxygen, it became clear that I had to pee. But moving wasn’t an option.
Ian sighed. “You want that info now? Uh, we wanted to present these ideas to you and the rest of the board sometime next month. I’m not really prepared right now to pitch but there are a few games I know you’ll love.”
More muffled yelling passed through the phone. “I see. No, we’re not hiding anything from you, Doug. Okay, so you already know we have more of those zoo games in the pipeline, and that franchise is our studio’s biggest cash cow because of all the merchandising.” I heard a tinge of defeat in Ian’s voice. He had admitted he needed these games Kat had designed for the business to stay afloat. I almost felt a little bad for him, but then I remembered he was a sexist asshole, and that empathy went away quickly.
More barking through the phone.