gown browsing, this had to be the dress. Jane looked at herself from the front, back, and turned side to side so she could see herself from all angles.
“Jane, you look stunning from all three-hundred-sixty degrees,” said Candace, smiling. Jane slowly turned around so Candace and I could ooh and ahh.
She had chosen the dress. Or maybe the dress chose her?
Jane took a few steps back from the mirror. She pivoted to her right, and then left, like an oscillating fan. Then, cocking her head like a little bird, she asked, “So you don’t think this makes my arms look big?”
“NO!” Candace and I yelled simultaneously. I shook my head. Jane really made my blood boil sometimes.
The sales assistant came over and whistled softly. “Wow, that dress is beautiful on you! It’s a one-of-a-kind couture creation that we just got in this week. It is so hard to pull off because you basically need a perfect body because it’s silk, not satin. And then the top bustier draws attention to the bosom, which is an area where you are also blessed. You look stunning.”
Jane beamed. Yes, this was the dress.
I asked, “How much is it?,” and Candace whacked me in the arm. A tacky question, I guess? Oops.
The sales assistant replied, “I need to look it up in the computer. We didn’t put a tag on this dress because the fabric is so delicate.”
I leaned into Candace. “They didn’t include the price tag because it costs the same as a car.” She whacked me again. Geez!
The assistant clickety-clacked on the keyboard awhile and looked back over with a gleaming smile. “The entire dress was hand-sewn, and you can tell how high quality it is by the fine-quality silk, plus the stitching and beading.” This was an exquisite dress, no doubt. But even Jane caught on that she didn’t disclose the price.
“How much?” Jane asked.
That smile remained plastered on her face. “Without tax, it’s twenty thousand dollars.” How did she manage to say “twenty thousand dollars” with that cheery grin?
Candace let out a squeak. Or maybe that was me.
“Shit, you can pay for a small wedding for that amount!” Oops. That was me. No filter. But really, she could buy a car for that price. This was probably what Cinderella felt like when all those other bitches went to the fancy ball and she was left in rags.
Jane sighed. “Can you help unbutton this?” Candace and I both frantically worked at getting her out of the gown.
The clerk didn’t want to lose this sale. “Were there any other dresses you want to try on?”
Jane shook her head. She headed back to the dressing room.
The saleswoman followed her in and knocked on her stall. “Would you mind disclosing your budget?”
“Ten thousand. Maybe twelve. That’s the max.” Well, shit, that could still buy a used car.
Candace and I shifted our stares from Jane’s stall to the sales clerk. Your move.
“I’ll be right back.” She ran back to her computer, clickety-clacked some more, and then grabbed the store phone and dialed. She kept looking over at us, and then back at her computer screen while she spoke. She nodded a few times and hung up. The verdict was in.
The gleaming smile spread across her face again. “I just got off the phone with the designer of the dress, Yun-Hee Lee. She’s a lovely person and I explained how in love you were with her gown. She agreed to drop the price to eleven grand, but it’s conditional. She wants to style you, and outfit your bridesmaids in her signature dresses, too—at a discount, of course—if she can do a photo shoot of you in her dress for her marketing materials. Would that work for you?”
Yun-Hee Lee dressed A-list movie stars and country music celebrities. Her tasteful wedding dresses were popular among the Microsoft and Amazon nouveau riche in the Pacific Northwest. And now Jane would be famous by association. Jane asked, “Does Yun-Hee do maternity bridesmaid dresses? This one is preggo.” She swept her hand in the direction of Candace.
“She can absolutely accommodate her, she’s so tiny!” the sales clerk chirped.
Candace beamed. “I won’t be tiny for long. My baby’s the size of a small baked potato.” I always thought it was weird that people compared their baby size to food. But cooked food seemed even more disturbing.
Jane looked at Candace and me and said, “You swear to god this dress doesn’t make my arms look huge?”
“NO!” we shouted again.
I whispered to Candace, “We’re