guest rooms into her room.
There is quiet whispering behind me, and then the footsteps move closer. Yasmin slips past me and holds open the door to the room. She pulls back the covers, and I place Mom down in the middle of the bed.
The night nurse rushes after us and starts adjusting the covers and checking her breathing and pulse. We asked her to give us some space today, so we could spend it as a family without her hovering over us, a constant reminder of all the bullshit that our lives have become. All of us needed a little bit of normality, if only for one day.
The nurse, Agatha, I think, lifts her head and finds us watching. “She’s fine; you should go and get some rest,” she whispers, offering me a kind smile.
I nod, but my feet are glued to the ground. It’s only when Yasmin tugs at my hand that I finally start moving.
I let her pull me out of the room and up the stairs toward my room.
“You should take the room. I’m…”
Yasmin presses her finger against my lips, shushing me.
“You’re dead tired on your feet, Nixon. You have to sleep, and you won’t get that on the couch.”
“I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes…” I shake my head, not even wanting to go there. “I can’t shut my mind off long enough to fall asleep.”
“Let me help you.”
Yasmin rises on her toes, her lips pressing softly against mine. My throat bobs as I swallow. I shouldn’t let her do this. I shouldn’t use her like that, she deserves so much better.
As if she can read my mind, she repeats, “Let me.”
Taking a step back, she tugs at my hand. I don’t resist her. Not when she leads me to bed. Not when she kisses me softly. Not when she helps me take off my clothes. And certainly not when she lets me forget everything and lose myself in her body.
Loud banging wakes me up. It’s like somebody has taken a hammer and it’s banging against my brain. I jump upright, the covers falling to my lap. Confused, I look around, noticing the details of the room surrounding me. Blue walls, king-sized bed, trophies… My room. I’m home.
“Nixon!” Jade’s panicked voice breaks me out of my stupor. I jump out of the bed, looking around the room until my eyes land on the sweats I had on yesterday discarded on the floor.
“Coming!” I pick them up and start pulling them on.
“What’s going on?” Yasmin’s sleepy voice comes from the bed. I give her a quick look; she’s sprawled on the bed, her hair a mess of curls spread over my pillow. The pillow that we shared last night.
After we…
Pushing the thought away, I concentrate on here and now. “No idea, but Jade’s upset.”
She lifts her head off the pillow, her face turning serious instantly.
“I have to go and see what’s going on.”
Not waiting for her response, I turn on the balls of my feet and slide into the hallway. I almost crash into Jade, who’s waiting on the other side of the door. My hands land on her shoulders to steady her.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her, my heart going into overdrive at the sight of her. She’s still in her pajamas, her hair a mess, and there are tears streaming down her cheeks.
“M-Mom,” she stutters.
One word. That’s all it takes. Letting go of my sister, I sprint down the stairs. The pounding of my feet matches the hectic beat of my heart echoing in my eardrums. I don’t slow down or stop until I’m standing in the doorway of my mother’s room, where two nurses are working on her.
“She’s breathing,” one of them says, hooking her to machines.
Breathing?
“What the hell happened?” I demand, not knowing what to do, where to look.
“She stopped breathing for a moment there, but we have her stabilized,” the nurse from last night, at least I think it’s her, explains, not even bothering to look at me as she resumes her work.
Stopped breathing.
Stopped… breathing.
Stopped…
Jade sobs somewhere behind me. I turn around to find her but Yasmin’s there, her arms wrapped around my sister’s shaking shoulders as she tries to soothe her. But there is no soothing this pain. The wreckage that caused these wounds is too grave, leaving scars that will never be able to heal.
I catch Yasmin’s gaze and find tears pooling in her eyes. She murmurs something to Jade I can’t hear, but whatever it is seems to