numbers.
Maybe Dr. Stevens was wrong. My first few essays and quizzes were great, all As, and I was a model student until a few weeks back, so maybe, just maybe…
But when for the third time the numbers show me what I already knew, what Dr. Stevens told me, I know it’s useless.
I fucked up.
Once again, I fucked my future up and this time, just like the last one, there’s nobody to blame but me.
My phone buzzes in my hand. I’m about to turn it off when I see Callie’s name flash on the screen.
All my worries about failing the class are pushed to the back of my mind. Callie isn’t a caller. If she’s calling that means something’s going on. And with how this day is going, I’m scared what it might be.
“Callie?” I ask, barely holding it together.
“Nixon’s here,” Callie says as soon as I pick up. Her voice is raised to be heard over the noises in the background.
Is that loud music playing?
“What? Where?” My heart kicks up a notch at the prospect of seeing him. My eyes scan the space, although rationally, I know he won’t jump out of a bush.
“Yasmin.” Something about the tone of her voice has me on edge.
I clasp the phone tighter, forcing the words out. “What’s going on, Callie?”
“It’s bad. We tried to talk some sense into him, but… You should come to the house.”
“What the hell is going on?” I ask as soon as I get out of the car. I had to park on the front lawn because the street was full of cars, and by the sound of music erupting from the house, I know exactly where the mid-afternoon party is being held.
“It’s been like this since we got here,” Callie says, shaking her head. She’s been waiting for me on the front porch, and by the look on her face I’m scared of what I’ll find inside.
I bite at the inside of my cheek. “How bad is it?”
Her face turns into a grimace. “Bad.”
A shiver runs through my body. I don’t know what to expect when I walk inside, but I can’t walk away, not knowing that Nixon is within these walls.
I can’t do this.
It’s all too much.
He might have given up on me, on us, but I can’t let him deal with this pain all on his own. Not when I saw how much of the blame he puts on himself and how it’s tearing him apart.
“As far as I can tell he’s been drinking since he got here, or at least I hope he didn’t drink before that, since he drove to Blairwood.” Callie visibly shudders at the thought. “I know you guys are…” She shakes her head apologetically. “I figured maybe he’ll listen to you, because he sure as hell isn’t listening to any of us.”
“I’ll go find him.”
I knew it was a mistake to leave him all by himself. I could deal with him not wanting me there, but he should have at least asked one of the guys to stay with him. I could understand his need to take care of his sister and be the support she needs, but damn it, she’s not the only one who needs support right now.
Yeah, you need it too. I push back the voice inside my head and enter the house.
This isn’t the time to think about myself. Actually, I welcome the distraction. I can think about myself later, with a clearer mind. Even if there is nothing that can be done, at least I’ll know that it wasn’t all in vain. Not if Nixon is all right.
“Yas!” Callie tries to call after me, but her voice gets lost in the blasting music. There are quite a few people for such an early party, but I guess when the captain of the Ravens calls you, you don’t say no.
I duck under the hand of one of Nixon’s teammates and stop in my tracks.
He’s here.
Inhaling sharply, my lungs fill with air. The knot between my shoulders loosens, like a weight I haven’t even known I’ve been carrying has finally been lifted.
It feels like I can breathe again.
Nixon is the piece I’ve been missing. A part of me stayed back with him, but now that he’s here, I finally feel whole once again.
I just look at him for a moment. He’s surrounded by a smaller group of people, a bottle in his hand as he laughs at something a girl next to him said.
My heart aches as I