Lula said. "What's going on?"
"Omigod, it's true," Connie said. "Look at your arm! How did this happen?"
Morelli stood. "I want to be there when they bring Ramos in. And I think I'm excess baggage now that the troops have arrived. Call me as soon as you're done with the doctor."
I DECIDED TO go from the hospital to my parents' house. Morelli was still busy interrogating Homer Ramos, and I didn't feel like being alone. I had Lula stop at Dougie's first so I could get a flannel shirt to wear over the T-shirt.
Dougie and Mooner were in the living room, watching a new big-screen TV.
"Hey, dude," Mooner said, "check this television out. Is this excellent, or what?"
"I thought you were done with the hijacking."
"That's the astonishing thing," Mooner said. "This is a newly purchased television. We didn't even steal it, dude. I tell you, God works in mysterious ways. One minute we're thinking our future is in the crapper, and then next thing you know, we come into an inheritance."
"Congratulations," I said. "Who died?"
"That's the miracle," Mooner said. "Our inheritance isn't tainted by tragedy. It was given to us, dude. A present. Can you dig it?
"Dougie and me had the good fortune to make a car sale on Sunday, so we took the car to the car wash to get it all spiffed up for the buyer. And while we're there this blonde comes streaking in, in a silver Porsche. And she, like, cleaned this car to within an inch of its life. We were, like, just watching. And then she took this bag out of the trunk and threw it in the garbage. It was a real genuine bag, so Dougie and me asked if she minded if we took it. And she said it was just a disgusting gym bag, and we could freaking do whatever we wanted with it. So we took the bag home and, like, forgot about it until this morning."
"And when you opened it up and looked inside this morning, the bag turned out to be filled with money," I said.
"Wow. How did you know that?"
"Just a guess."
MY MOTHER WAS in the kitchen when I got to the house. She was making toltott kaposzta, which is stuffed cabbage. Not my favorite thing in the world. But then my favorite thing in the world is probably pineapple upside-down cake with lots of whipped cream, so I guess it's not a fair comparison.
She stopped working and looked at me. "Is something wrong with your arm? You're holding it funny."
"I got shot, but—"
My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand.
Shit.
I soaked a dish towel and put it on her forehead until she came around.
"What happened?" she asked.
"You fainted."
"I never faint. You must be mistaken." She sat up and mopped her face with the wet towel. "Oh yeah, now I remember."
I helped her to a kitchen chair and put the water on for tea.
"How bad is it?" she asked.
"It's just a nick. And the guy's in jail now, so everything's fine."
Except I felt a little nauseated, my heart was skipping a beat once in a while, and I didn't want to go back to my apartment. Otherwise, everything was fine.
I put the cookie jar on the table and gave my mother a cup of tea. I sat opposite her and helped myself to a cookie. Chocolate chip. Very healthy, since she'd put some chopped walnuts in, and walnuts are filled with protein, right?
The front door banged open and closed, and Grandma stormed into the kitchen. "I did it! I passed my driver's test!"
My mother made the sign of the cross and put the wet towel back on her head.
"How come your arm's all puffy under your shirt?" Grandma asked me.
"I'm wearing a bandage. I got shot today."
Grandma's eyes opened wide. "Cool!" She pulled a chair out and joined us at the table. "How did it happen? Who shot you?"
Before I could answer, the phone rang. It was Marge Dembowski reporting that her daughter Debbie, who's a nurse at the hospital, called to say I was shot. Then Julia Kruselli called to say her son, Richard, who's a cop, just gave her the scoop on Homer Ramos.
I moved from the kitchen to the living room and fell asleep in front of the television. Morelli was there when I woke up, the house reeked of stuffed cabbage cooking on the stovetop, and my arm ached.
Morelli had a new jacket for me, one