would put Grandma well over a hundred—and me at sixty, if I didn't die on the job.
Someone gave a light rap on my door. Morelli was here early. I opened the door, and he got halfway through the foyer before spotting Grandma.
"Grandma Mazur," he said.
"Yep," she answered. "I'm living here now. Just moved in."
The corners of Morelli's mouth twitched up ever so slightly. Jerk.
"Was this a surprise move?" Morelli asked.
I took the bucket of chicken from him. "Grandma got into it with my father."
"Is that chicken?" Grandma asked. "I can smell it all the way over here."
"Plenty for everyone," Morelli told her. "I always get extra."
Grandma pushed past us, into the kitchen. "I'm starved. All this moving gave me an appetite." She looked into the bag. "Are those biscuits, too? And coleslaw?" She grabbed some plates from the cabinet and ran them out to the dining room table. "Boy, this is gonna be fun. I hope you've got beer. I feel like having a beer."
Morelli was still grinning.
For some time now, Morelli and I had been engaged in an off-again-on-again romance. Which is a nice way of saying we occasionally shared a bed. And Morelli wasn't going to think this was so funny when the occasional overnighter turned to no overnighters at all.
"This is going to put a crimp in our plans for the evening," I whispered to Morelli.
"We just need to change the address," he said. "We can go to my house after dinner."
"Forget your house. What would I tell Grandma? 'Sorry, I'm not sleeping here tonight, because I have to go do the deed with Joe'?"
"Something wrong with that?"
"I can't say that. It would make me feel icky."
"Icky?"
"My stomach would get squishy."
"That's silly. Your grandma Mazur wouldn't mind."
"Yes, but she'd know."
Morelh looked pained. "This is one of those woman things, isn't it?"
Grandma was back in the kitchen, getting glasses. "Where are your napkins?" she asked.
"I don't have any," I told her.
She stared at me blank-faced for a moment, unable to comprehend a house with no napkins.
"There are napkins in the bag with the biscuits," Morelli said.
Grandma peeked into the bag and beamed. "Isn't he something," she said. "He even brings the napkins."
Morelli rocked back on his heels and gave me a look that told me I was a lucky duck. "Always prepared," Morelli said.
I rolled my eyes.
"That's a cop for you," Grandma said. "Always prepared."
I sat across from her and grabbed a piece of chicken. "It's the Boy Scouts who are always prepared," I said. "Cops are always hungry."
"Now that I'm going off on my own I've been thinking I should get a job," Grandma said. "And I've been thinking maybe I'd get a job as a cop. What do you think?" she asked Morelli. "You think I'd make a good cop?"
"I think you'd make a great cop, but the department has an age limit."
Grandma pressed her lips together. "Don't that tear it. I hate those darn age limits. Well, I guess that just leaves being a bounty hunter."
I looked to Morelli for help, but he was keeping his eyes glued to his plate.
"You need to be able to drive to be a bounty hunter," I said to Grandma. "You don't have a driver's license."
"I've been planning on getting one of them anyway," she said. "First thing tomorrow I'm signing up for driving school. I've even got a car. Your uncle Sandor left me that Buick and since you aren't using it anymore I guess I'll give it a try. It's a pretty good-looking car."
Shamu with wheels.
When the chicken bucket was empty Grandma pushed back from the table. "Let's get things cleaned up," she said, "and then we can watch a movie. I stopped off at the video store on my way over."
Grandma fell asleep halfway through The Terminator, sitting on the couch ramrod straight, head dropped to her chest.
"Probably I should leave," Morelli said. "Let you two girls get things straightened out."
I walked him to the door. "Is there any word on Ranger?"
"Nothing. Not even a rumor."
Sometimes no news was good news. At least he hadn't floated in with the tide.
Morelli pulled me to him and kissed me, and I felt the usual tingle in the usual places. "You know my number," he said. "And I don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks."
I WOKE UP on my couch with a stiff neck and feeling cranky. Someone was clanking around in my kitchen. Didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who.
"Isn't this a terrific morning?" Grandma