saturated his whole body.
“Holden, please.”
He stopped with his hand on the knob and craned his neck to take in Charleigh.
So beautiful. Perfect. His.
“I need time, Leigh-Leigh.”
“Stay.”
“She’s mine,” he growled. “Mine. What the fuck have I done?”
Then he was gone.
29
What now?
What was I supposed to do now?
What was I supposed to tell Faith? How did I explain to my child that the man I told her was her father, was not? That he’d lied. That his family knew but didn’t tell me. Why would they do that? Why wouldn’t they have told me right after Paul died?
Why can’t I feel my legs?
I needed to do something but my feet were rooted in place. I had to…shit, I didn’t know what I needed to do. I needed Holden but he left me, again.
“Charleigh?” Kennedy’s voice. I twirled around to find her, Jameson, Silver, and Weston behind me. “Come into the living room.”
She knew.
Oh my God, they all know.
“I need to get Faith.”
“Macy and McKenna are outside with her. She’s fine. Let’s go in the—”
“No. Nononono.”
I was well aware I sounded like a crazy person. I didn’t need Kennedy’s wide eyes or the way Silver was approaching like I was a wild animal to confirm what I knew—I’d finally lost my mind.
“Charleigh, Macy’s gonna bring Faith in to get dressed. It’s not a good idea she sees you like this. Come into the living room. We’ll take Faith upstairs and—”
“Nononono.”
“Charlotte,” Jameson’s voice boomed and I jerked in surprise. No, my body jolted in horror as I took in the pity in his eyes. “Know it’s a shock, Charleigh, but right now we need to see to Faith. We can’t let Macy bring her in until you’re in the living room. We’re all gonna help you figure this out. But let’s get Faith out of here first, yeah?”
No. I didn’t want Faith to leave. I wanted to pack her up and leave. Holden had the right idea; running sounded like the best option. How had this happened?
“Why would he do that?” Silver came closer and I put my hands up to ward her off. “How could he lie? He said…he said he loved me but he took everything away from me. He ruined me, he broke Holden, and Faith…ohmigod, what am I going to tell her? She’ll think I’m a…”
I didn’t finish partly because I couldn’t utter the words but also because both women had descended. Silver’s arms wrapped around me from the front and Kennedy came up from behind and in some sort of weird three-person-hug, they held on tight.
I felt my legs finally give out.
“I hate him,” I whispered against Silver’s shoulder. “I hate all of them. They all knew.”
Kennedy’s baby bump pressed against my side, the feel of it reminding me of everything Holden lost out on. All the things she and Jameson took for granted. Holden never got to feel Faith kick, he never got to see an ultrasound, he missed her coming into the world. Everything. We lost everything.
“Jesus, fuck,” Weston grunted. “I gotta call Chasin and tell him to keep Evie away from Holden. Anyone know where Bobby is?”
“On her way and she’s bringing Evie,” Silver answered.
Then I was shuffled out of the foyer and guided to a chair. I sat, Jameson swept all the papers scattered on the table back into the box, and I vaguely wondered what else was in there.
I was so numb nothing felt real. How, why, why, why would Paul marry me knowing Faith was not his?
“What else is in that box?”
“Nothing that matters right now,” Jameson told me.
There was more. There had to be—Jameson wouldn’t be trying to get rid of the papers as fast as he was unless there was something he didn’t want me to see.
“It matters, Jameson.”
“Charleigh—”
“I get you’re trying to protect me, but don’t you think it’s better if everything hits at once?”
“No, I do not. I think you need to process Paul’s letter and what that means for you, Faith, and Holden. The rest of it can wait.”
He was wrong. I didn’t want bad news trickling in. I didn’t want to draw out the pain. But before I could tell him that, I heard Faith’s happy voice, then I heard Rory, then Macy telling the girls to go upstairs.
How was this my life?
I closed my eyes and thought back to the day I told Paul I was pregnant. He was happy. He didn’t so much as blink, flinch, give any indication that the baby couldn’t be his.