leaving the past in the past but, Holden, that wound is deep and it never went away. I’ve never stopped loving you. So, I need you to do all the work. You have to win me and Faith. And you’re gonna have to fight me to let you back in.”
That was all Holden needed to hear. He’d prove all of that and more. He’d show her she could trust him.
“I love you, my sweet Leigh-Leigh.”
She gave him a small smile and nodded but she didn’t return the words.
Those would come.
But for now, the way she was staring up at him like he was her whole world was enough. He vaguely wondered if she knew she wasn’t hiding anything from him. Then he remembered she never had. Even when he’d been a douche she’d never withheld her true self. The thought both humbled and sickened him. She’d given him everything and he’d turned his back on her.
Never again. He’d make it up to her, then spend the rest of his life showing her how much he adored her. And he’d forge a relationship with Faith, he’d let the little girl guide them. He’d be anyone she wanted him to be. Friend, stepdad, daddy…whatever Faith wanted, that’s what she was going to get.
Soon, he’d have his family back.
25
I sat fidgeting in Holden’s Suburban, so nervous I was speechless.
The last two days had been weird.
Yesterday, I’d woken up sore in all the right places. Then I had a freak-out worrying about how Holden would behave. To say he wasn’t pleased when I’d rolled out of his bed in favor of the one I was sharing with Faith was an understatement. He’d pleaded with me to stay. He even promised to wake me up early so I would be out of his room before Faith woke up, but I still said no. I was proud of myself for not giving in, even though I really, really wanted to sleep next to Holden. When I’d gone downstairs to make coffee, he’d had a mug ready for me. I wanted to swoon over his thoughtfulness but simply thanked him and braced. We stood in the kitchen in silence that should’ve been awkward but Holden just went about making breakfast like he hadn’t given me two of the best orgasms of my life. I told myself they were better than normal because they weren’t self-induced, but that was a lie. A big, fat lie.
They were the best because Holden knew exactly how to work my body. He knew because the two years we’d been together, he’d made it his mission to discover every secret spot that made me crazy. He’d held back, and with Faith in the house, I appreciated him not taking me where he often had, reducing me to a sobbing, blubbering mess as I begged for mercy. If there was such a thing as dying by orgasm I would’ve been six feet under. For the record, that wasn’t a thing—after all, I was still alive—but there was such a thing as too much of a good thing. Holden could dispense pleasure like a normal man could chew gum and walk. Whether it was a conscious decision on his part or not, I was still grateful we hadn’t woken up Faith.
After coffee and breakfast, we’d driven Faith to school, gone to his office where we’d parted ways—me in his office, him in the conference room—and when it was time we picked up Faith and went back to the house. We had dinner together—he cooked, I cleaned—we’d watched some TV with Faith, then I took Faith up to bed. But not before Holden had given me a knowing smile. I was using Faith’s bedtime as an excuse to hide. He knew I wouldn’t be coming back down.
This morning was much of the same. I woke up, left Faith sleeping so I could drink my morning coffee in peace, but like the morning before, Holden was waiting in the kitchen. However, unlike yesterday, he pulled me into his arms and kissed the ever-loving hell out of me before I could reach for the coffee pot. I wanted to protest this. Remind him I was grouchy before caffeine and it was in everyone’s best interest not to derail my morning intake. But I didn’t say a word. Then I wondered—if Holden had tried that when we’d been together all those years ago would my coffee addiction be as bad as it was? It seemed all I needed was