me, one of the best moments of my life was being interrupted for confirmation a puppy was forthcoming.
I nodded again.
“And it’s gonna be a Tank dog?”
“Yes.” I changed tactics, hoping my verbal answer would appease my child.
“Awesome.” Her accompanying dance, if it could be called that, had the room laughing again. “I’m getting a pup-py,” she chanted and jerked her body this way and that way.
“Lord, save me.”
“Anyone else in shock that Holden’s middle name is Clarence?” Weston hooted.
I opened my mouth to defend my man but Holden stopped me. “No, baby, let them have this.”
“But, there’s nothing wrong with Clarence. Besides, it’s a family name.”
“Trust me. Let Weston dig his hole.” I tilted my head, not understanding. “I know what his is.”
“Is it bad?”
Holden leaned close and whispered, “Orville.”
I tried, I really did, but I couldn’t stop the laughter from bubbling up.
“Dad?” Faith’s voice rang out sure and strong like she’d been calling Holden that since she could talk. When in actuality, she’d never in her life called a man dad.
The laughter died down and I felt all eyes come to me, including Holden’s, before his gaze slid to his daughter. It was at that moment, Holden changed. I saw it happen right before my very eyes. Everything about him softened, and if Faith hadn’t already had Holden wrapped around her pinkie, calling him dad would’ve done it.
“Yeah, doll?”
“If Mom will buy me a bike, will you teach me how to ride so me and Rory can have a race?”
What my child didn’t know was, I wouldn’t have to buy her anything. I had a feeling by tomorrow morning there would be five bikes sitting outside.
“Absolutely,” Holden answered in a rough voice.
“Yay!” Faith did her signature jig and turned to Rory. “My dad’s gonna teach me to ride a bike. Then we can race.”
The girls’ chatter faded into the background. Dinner plans, house buying, engagement, company, all forgotten. Everyone except Holden ceased to exist for me. I never wanted to forget this moment, the look on his face, the happiness that radiated from him. So I took my time and memorized the moment. I committed every nuance to memory and I locked it away nice and tight in a secret place that was just for me.
It was then some of the hatred faded.
It was then I realized that with all of the people conspiring against us, we’d won. Sure, we lost some time, but we hadn’t lost it all.
There was a lot of life to live. There was more to our story. And we were finally going to live it.
35
“Dad?”
Holden forced his body to stay relaxed as he looked over at Faith. He wasn’t entirely successful in this endeavor, seeing as his neck muscles had stiffened and his heart pounded violently, but he didn’t think his daughter noticed.
This wasn’t the first time he’d heard Faith call him “Dad” and it wasn’t even the third. Over the last few hours, it seemed once she’d broken the seal she was using every available opportunity to call out to him even if he was right next to her. Case in point, they were side by side on the bed Faith and Charleigh shared and Holden had been reading her a bedtime story.
“Right here, doll.”
“I just like calling you that.”
Jesus, Jesus.
“That’s good, ‘cause I like hearing it.”
“Why was Paul my dad if you really were?”
Fuck.
How in the hell did he explain to an eight-year-old the mess he’d created?
With honesty. But how did he break it down in a way she could understand?
“When I was in the Navy, I got hurt and had to go see a doctor.” Okay, that was a good start. Now what? Holden studied his daughter and wondered how it was possible he’d had his head so twisted he’d missed really seeing her. It had been right in front of him the whole time, all he had to do was look. Faith wasn’t a carbon copy of him—most of her features came from her mom—but he was there, too. The shape of her eyes, her skin tone, her hair color, she even had his nose. Holden shook those thoughts from his mind and came back to her question. “The doctor had to give me a bunch of tests. And he told me I couldn’t have children.”
“But…you’re my dad, right?”
Goddammit. He was screwing this up. He needed Charleigh, she’d know what to say.
“Yes, Faith. You are my daughter. The doctor was wrong. But at the time I didn’t know that. I