and have a family?”
A trail of agony slithered down his spine.
Family.
Holden wasn’t capable of having a family—that option had been taken away from him courtesy of the Navy.
“No, Chasin, I don’t want either of those,” he lied.
The truth was, all Holden had wanted was to build a family with Charleigh.
“Holden—”
“Trust me, a family is something I will never have.”
That wasn’t a lie. Holden would never have what he’d desired most. He was utterly incapable of making one.
The two men stood in the tiny space and locked eyes. Holden allowed his friend to see every ounce of remorse and pain he felt. When Chasin clenched his jaw, Holden knew he saw it.
Before Chasin could question him further, he changed the subject. “Who’s going in with Micky tomorrow?”
The team had decided to delay reaching out to Kimberly’s mom until they had more information. There was no need to cause the woman anymore pain than she’d already experienced if Jonny was wrong and the incidences weren't linked. No one wanted to cause the grieving mother undue stress.
However, after a week of investigating, the team felt Jonny was right and it was time for Micky to make contact with Kimberly’s mom.
“No one. She wants to go in alone. It’s her opinion Donna Lot wouldn’t be comfortable with any of us there.”
Holden nodded his agreement. They’d discussed some of the questions Micky was going to ask and he didn’t think any mother would be comfortable discussing her daughter’s possible abuse in front of a man, especially one she didn’t know.
“I hate for Micky to take it on herself, but it’s the best play.”
Once again, the men fell silent, a host of emotions flickering in Chasin’s gaze. His right eye twitched—Chasin’s tell that he was annoyed—and Holden braced.
“I think you need to tell Charleigh who Paul really was.”
That was not what he thought his friend was going to say. He was also not going to get into another Charleigh conversation.
“That’s not gonna happen. I already let a few things slip. He’s dead and gone. I’m not going to dishonor the memory of her husband.” The flavor of his words made him wince.
Her husband.
Charleigh had married the bastard.
His beauty Leigh-Leigh had a lying, cheating asshole for a husband and that was Holden’s fault, too.
“Hold—”
“You should go see what Evie’s up to,” Holden cut him off.
“Stubborn fuck,” Chasin muttered and exited.
He wasn’t stubborn, he was finally being smart.
Hours later, Holden was in bed on his back staring at his favorite picture. Leigh-Leigh sitting in his lap, her thick brown hair loose around her, a beautiful smile on her face, her eyes brimming with happiness. She looked so happy. He looked like a man who knew he had it all.
Then he threw it away.
9
“Do you think when me and Rory are done, can you take us to get milkshakes?” Faith happily chirped.
It had been a long, exhausting week and I was looking forward to Aurora Hall coming over to play with Faith all morning. With Rory over, Faith would be occupied and I could finally have time to look over the paperwork my attorney had mailed me.
For the last two weeks, I’d slept like shit. All I could think about was what Holden had said. Which was counterproductive to me, trying to live my life not thinking about him. I couldn’t be bothered to give much thought to Holden knowing Paul had been cheating on me, when the Towlers were now having me followed.
It was on that thought, I answered my daughter, “Not today, sweets.” Faith frowned and I quickly went on, “But I will order you pizza with extra garlic knots and we have root beer.”
“Can we make floats?”
“You sure can.”
“Yippy!” Faith squealed and started for the stairs. “I’m gonna get the dollhouse so it’s ready when Rory gets here.”
I watched as my excited daughter bounced up the stairs to get the wooden dollhouse she and her friend would spend hours gluing together, and reminded myself that was why I was fighting the Towlers. I was protecting that exuberance and free spirit. They didn’t want her, they wanted to punish me. They didn’t love and care about her well-being, she was a pawn in their disgusting game.
The PI the Towlers had sent to Kent County to dig up dirt on me was not a very good one if Nixon had found him hours after his arrival. Nix had called to tell me the investigator was in town and he’d send me a picture so I knew who to