horribly uncomfortable, the idea of Griffin spending an inordinate amount of time with her family. After all, they were... They had just spent all last night...
Well, when she thought about where he had his mouth...
And then thinking about him being anywhere near her family... She didn’t know how people did that.
Rose and Logan had sneaked around. How had they managed? She really didn’t quite know.
“I can hear you thinking,” Griffin said.
“You don’t have to come to my family’s house tonight. I mean... Ryder was being nosy. Intrusive.”
“Polite. And I would like to go to your family’s house.”
“Why?”
He paused for a moment. “They’re important to you. They are an important part of who you are. Anyway, I haven’t been to anything like that in a long time.”
“And you’re... Okay with that?”
He nodded. “I’m starting to realize something, Iris. The real tragedy of going through something like I did is that you don’t want to heal. Because it doesn’t feel right. I’ve been avoiding getting better, because I thought it would be a disservice to them. I’m still struggling with that, I’m not going to lie to you. Because I keep telling myself maybe this is just easier than staying secluded. Maybe I’m taking some kind of easy route. But then... This isn’t easy. It’s not. But I need to do it, and I want to. Because it’s not living that does them a disservice, it’s refusing to live well when they’re not here to do it themselves. What kind of attribute is it to shut yourself away?”
“Griffin... Well, I’m glad for you then.”
“I think I can handle your family. Don’t you worry about me.”
“I don’t know. They’re a bit much.”
“Who haven’t I met?”
“Colt and Jake. My cousins. Officially, two of the biggest, brashest idiots in the world. At least, that’s my opinion.”
“What makes them idiots?”
“Bull riders.”
“As in, rodeo bull riders?”
“Yes. They’re definitely... Well, they’re definitely them.” She shook her head. “But anyone who thinks to themselves that throwing themselves on the back of an eight hundred pound animal and getting flung around is a good idea is pretty much half-cocked.”
“I think I’ll like them.”
“You probably will.”
“You don’t have to worry about me,” he said. “I could have said no if I didn’t want to go.”
“Right. About what he said. The boyfriend thing, I...”
He turned to face her, gripped her chin, his eyes blazing into hers. “Iris,” he said. “I’m not running scared. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried.” It was a lie, though.
This had been so clear in her head. Friends. Two people helping each other. Not one person with heavy feelings wishing, working, for the other person to feel the same.
No.
The problem with things like this, the problem with helping was that it was so easy to confuse it with love. That the way you were appreciated, and someone else appreciating you was...enough.
But it was a one-way street. And it was never enough.
And when you weren’t needed, people moved on. “I just didn’t want you to think I was trying to trap you,” she said. “We both know this is...friendship. I know you love your wife.”
“Of course I do,” he said, his voice fracturing. He looked like he didn’t know quite what to say. “You matter to me, though.”
She’d mattered to a lot of people. She’d helped a lot of people. It was a good thing, a good feeling.
As long as she didn’t want more.
“I just wanted to make sure you knew that I...that I know what this is.”
He huffed a laugh. “Do you? Because I’m not sure I do.”
Her heart twisted and she reached out and touched his face. “We’re helping each other.”
And she smiled even though she sort of wanted to cry.
* * *
HOPE SPRINGS RANCH was beautiful. There was a wooden sign above the entry of the driveway, with horses and words proclaiming the name. It sat off the main highway, backed by forests and mountains, wild and beautiful, with a farmhouse that avoided being too pristine, a whole passel of dogs and horses out in every pasture.
This was where she had grown up. With siblings, and no parents for a time, a group of kids all depending on the land then each other.
It fascinated him that she had come out of it as she was. As determined and pure as she was. She wasn’t cynical. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t filled with hatred or bitterness. At every turn, Iris was incredible to him.
Though, she was clearly finding his invitation to her family’s house problematic. So that could just