Getting to know somebody. It had been a long time since he’d gotten to know anyone.
Yeah, he could remember the last time.
He didn’t want to.
“Spells can be broken,” he said. “That’s all I know.”
After that, they didn’t talk much. They came to the edge of the creek, and he dismounted, leading his horse to the water. Iris did the same, copying his movement and bringing Carl to the edge of the water too.
“This feels a bit like a cliché.”
“Well, you won’t even have to try to make them drink, because it’s hot.”
She laughed, and a lock of hair fell into her face. He saw that it shimmered, gold hidden in the brown.
He just stood there for a moment, struck by the fact that he was noticing something like that. It was strange. And so unlike his experience over the last few years. Where people had been kind of transparent. He just looked through them.
He was looking at Iris.
“If men don’t notice you in this town, then they’re fools,” he said.
Her head snapped up, her eyes wide, and he could see how they were more golden brown than mud, shot through with green. It was just that inside, it all sort of landed together, and out here he could see them clearly. “I... I...”
He had successfully stunned her into silence. “I haven’t seen your sisters. But I don’t need to. And you don’t need to compare yourself to them.”
“I don’t think that I do. It’s just that I try to be practical about these things.”
“You’re not being practical, you’re wrong. In fact, I bet plenty of men notice you, and they don’t think they can approach you.”
“Why?”
“Because a lot of men would find you intimidating.”
She laughed again, and this time she doubled over, putting her hands on her knees. “Me? Intimidating? I’m basically the least intimidating person on the planet. What am I going to do? Stab someone with a knitting needle? Hit them over the head with a pan?”
“No. You’re trying to compare yourself to the kind of strong your sister is. The police officer. That’s not the only kind of strong there is. You’re the kind of strong that actually scares people, I think. Let me guess, men always want to challenge your cop sister to arm wrestling, or something?”
“Well, yes, I guess that is true.”
“Because they want to test themselves against her physical strength. Deep down, they think that they’re superior, and they want to prove it. But they can’t read you. And I bet you sit in the corner of the bar and don’t talk to anybody. You just have your drink, and you watch everybody. And I bet you nobody can figure out why you’re so happy to sit there by yourself.”
“Because I feel awkward,” she said. “And how do you know what I do in bars?”
“I don’t think you feel awkward. I think you don’t see anything compelling enough to move you from your seat. You’re close to your family because you like them. But when you wanted to change, you marched yourself up the mountain and you found me. Not very many people would do that. And, I didn’t scare you away. That would be true of even less people, let me tell you.”
“I don’t find you scary,” she said.
“You don’t?”
She looked away then, and he could see a flash of fear. She did find him scary, but maybe not in the way they were talking about. And that made his stomach feel tight. That felt a little bit like hunger. Hunger, which was such a foreign concept to him. He had lost it so long ago. Survival, that’s what everything had been about. And appetites had gone away, completely.
But she had reminded him of what it was to be hungry for food that tasted good. To be hungry for the way it could comfort you.
And this felt like the slow-growing echo of a different hunger altogether. One he would rather not remember at all.
“No,” she said, meeting his gaze again, having collected herself. “I don’t.”
“Maybe you should.”
She shrugged. “Maybe. You know, I’m not very good at being told what to do.”
“This is what I’m talking about,” he said. “You’re not weak. You’re strong, and I bet it’s the kind of strong that people can’t quite figure out, and it scares them.”
“Well, bully for me.”
“How come you’re not used to being told what to do?” He didn’t know why he was compelled to find out more about her. Only that he was.
“Because I’m the