the monitor to watch Carter’s life end.
They are announced, and I watch them walk out, hand in hand. All smiles for each other.
I feel the stabbing in my heart. Damn it. I’m not the one who is supposed to feel pain. He is.
They take a seat in the chairs, and the host begins asking them easy questions at first. They both make jokes and laugh.
And then the host says the words that I planted. The words that I’m here to watch. “I hear that the two of you have some big news to share.”
Lily holds tighter on to Carter’s arm, leaning in like she is really in love. She probably is—or at least, what she thinks is love. “We do have some exciting news.”
“Care to share?” the host asks excitedly.
Lily holds out her left hand, proudly displaying the engagement ring that Carter used to propose to me a week ago. “We’re engaged!”
I carefully watch Carter’s expression. He’s surprised. He raises an eyebrow for a split second when he sees it, and his eyes are a little wider than usual as he stares at the ring on Lily’s finger instead of mine. But he quickly recovers from the surprise. What he doesn’t recover from is the pain. I know he was expecting me to do something, but I don’t think he was expecting that. He looks away from Lily and over to the backstage area where I’m standing, off camera. I look away from the screen to look at him with a smirk. He deserves this. He deserves the pain. He deserves to suffer, being her fiancé. If I get my way, until death do they part.
“Tell us how you proposed,” the host asks Carter, forcing his attention back to the interview.
“Oh, it was so romantic! We were in a limo, and…well, things got steamy,” Lily says, fake blushing. “But, Carter, you should really tell the story.”
Carter takes a deep breath. “I had rented a limo for the night because I wanted everything to be perfect. And it was. We started kissing. Then, one thing led to another, and our clothes were off. She was digging through my pants, looking for protection, when she found the ring. I proposed. But she was more worried about being with me than being very clear with her answer.
“The limo driver kept driving to our destination—a home that I bought for us to start our life together as a family. And I proposed again on the deck of the house, under twinkle lights and the stars. She said yes.”
“Oh my God, that is a romantic and steamy story,” the host says.
Carter smiles, but it’s fake. He hated retelling that story and replacing me with Lily. It hurt. My job here is done.
I walk toward the exit, feeling the weight of what I just did hit me harder and harder with every step. I just hurt a man whom, despite everything, I’m desperately in love with. A man who, minus a few flaws, is perfect for me in every way. I just ruined my chance at happiness with him.
I throw the door open and step outside, wrapping my arms around myself, trying to comfort myself, as I walk the two blocks to the nearest bar. I stop outside the bar and turn around, hoping that, just like in the movies, Carter will be there, running after me, about to give me some fantastic speech that will make me feel like we can be together. But he’s not there. No one is.
I’m all alone.
I need to get used to it. This is my life now.
16
Carter
The interview ends, but my relationship with Lily is just beginning thanks to Victoria.
She hurt me.
It felt like she ripped out my heart and then tore it into tiny little pieces. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think about anything other than the fact that she gave her engagement ring to Lily. It was a cold move forcing me into a fake engagement with Lily.
And I deserved every ounce of the pain she caused me. That much I know. Up until a few days ago, I have spent my whole life hurting Victoria. When we were kids I did it because it was fun and I was deflecting from my own pain, but as we got older I realized it was because I cared about her, but I was never good enough for her. But I couldn’t let anyone else have her.
I couldn’t let her beat me because that would only reinforce that I’m