us on the screen. We look great together. If I remember correctly, the sex was amazing,” Lily says, inching her way toward Carter.
I can’t listen to this anymore, or I’m going to vomit or scream or wring both of their necks for letting me get involved in this mess between the two of them.
“I’m going to give you two a minute to figure out whatever is going on between you. I’ll be back in a half hour or so to figure out what the plan is,” I say, walking toward the door.
Carter pops up, running until he beats me to the door. “Stay.”
I shake my head. “You two have plenty that you need to work out.”
“Victoria,” he says my name.
One word, but I can tell everything he is feeling. Pain, scared, need, lust, sorry. All the feelings I need him to feel.
I scoot past him, walking out the door, telling him how I feel without a word. Betrayed.
I keep walking until I exit the building, until fresh air hits my face. I take a deep breath as I stand outside, able to really think for the first time all day. I’ll take a walk. Just circle the block a couple of times. Give Carter a chance to talk to Lily.
And then, when I come back, he can talk to me.
I walk briskly, trying to get as much of my frustration and pain out as possible. But walking quickly doesn’t help.
I try to reason with myself. I convince myself that their kiss meant nothing. It was just Carter acting, that he wants me, not Lily.
I try distracting myself. I think about Sailor, Amber, my mom. I have hardly talked to any of them since coming here.
I pull out my phone and dial Amber’s cell. Sailor isn’t out of school yet, but I can call and just check on my sister. I’ll call Sailor later in the day.
“Hi,” Sailor’s meek voice answers the phone.
“Sailor, what are you doing home from school? Are you sick or playing hooky?” I tease, happy. Whatever reason my niece is home, it means I get to talk to her for a few minutes, lighting up my day.
“Amber didn’t drive me to school.”
My heart sinks. “What do you mean? Sailor, can you put Amber on the phone? I’ll talk to you again in a second, I promise. I have a funny story to tell you about an old high school friend of mine.”
“I can’t. She’s asleep.”
My heart stops. All my worst fears start flying through my head. That something happened to Amber. She committed suicide. She overdosed. She finally gave up.
“Okay, Sailor. I need to hang up a minute to call Grandma, and then I’ll call you right back, okay?”
“Okay.”
I reluctantly end the call and dial my mom’s number. I give her all the details, and she promises to call 911 and get over there ASAP. But I have to sit here, hopeless. Because I can fix everyone’s problems but my own family’s.
I shake my head. I can fix my family’s problems. I just can’t fix my own problems.
I pull up an airline website on my phone and book the next one home. I start walking back to my rental car when Carter ducks out of the building, grabbing on to me.
“I have to talk to you,” Carter says.
“I need to talk to you, too,” I say even though I don’t have time for this conversation. “But it needs to wait.”
Carter puts his finger to my lips. “No, it can’t wait. I need you to know how incredibly sorry I am. Both of those kisses back there meant nothing. I feel nothing for Lily. Not even the tiniest of sparks compared to what I feel with you.”
I smile weakly, trying to pretend I care about his words right now when all I can think about is Sailor and Amber.
“Are you listening to me? I want you, not Lily. I want you, Victoria. I’m sorry about all this mess, but I’m not really dating Lily. It’s all a lie. It’s all pretend. Lily understands that now. That all we will ever do is hold hands and pretend to be in love and occasionally kiss, although I will try to prevent that at all costs. That woman kisses like I imagine a lizard would.”
I zone him out. I can’t hear his words. Only focusing on the fact that my family needs me.
“Victoria?”
I don’t answer. I just think about if I have time to stop by Logan’s to pack or if