I pull the toilet seat up and the vomit splurges from deep down. It hurts like hell. I hate throwing up—especially when it feels like I’m throwing up my insides. I haven’t eaten shit all day. There’s nothing but alcohol on my stomach.
A hand touches my back and rubs up and down. “Get it out, Nolan,” Natalie coos to me. “I’m sorry.”
I hate that I can’t respond. I should be the one apologizing to her. Her hand continues to rub across my back and soon the night drifts but with each hour is more vomit. A time comes when the vomit ceases and I fall into Natalie’s arms. My heavy eyelids manage to peek open and look up at her. She’s already looking at me in the same way she used to. In the way that lets me know she has no choice but to love me.
“I love you, Bunny. I swear I do. You mean a lot to me.”
She presses her lips together, looking me over while continuing to rock me in her arms. “Did you cheat on me, Nolan?”
I stare up at her and try to shake my head but for some reason I can’t manage. Weariness takes over me and I try to fight against it but I’m losing. I’m weak, vulnerable. I’m at my weakest state and I know I’m not going to remember any of this tomorrow but I don’t care. I’m just glad to be with her. I’m glad I can actually be in her arms and have her near me. It may not last long—this moment may not last long—but I’m cherishing this night, no matter how many times I may throw my guts up.
A response never shows up for her. Instead she continues to rock me in her arms until I drift into an abysmal sleep. I’ve never been more relieved to be in her arms than now. I’m glad her face is the last face I see before drifting off. Her lips press against my clammy forehead and it gives me hope that we can still make this work. It’s not over.
Chapter Twenty-One
Natalie
Sleeping is nearly impossible when I have Nolan who came out of nowhere with alcohol poisoning. It makes me feel terrible knowing the only reason he may have drank so much is because of me and my snobbish attitude towards him earlier. He wanted to forget about me but instead he got sick from it.
I’ve been up all night by his side watching his chest sink and rise. Alcohol poisoning is deadly but after I knew he wasn’t going to throw up anymore, I pulled his messy shirt and jeans off and Dawson helped me get him into my bed. I don’t want him to stop breathing. I may be upset with him but death is something I’d never wish upon him. I care too much—I care a lot. I love Nolan to death which is why I don’t want to leave from his side.
The sun spills through my curtains as I run my fingers through his dark hair. He isn’t as cold as he was a few hours ago. He’s beginning to warm up. He’s also snoring which is a good sign because it means he’s only getting better.
Reaching my arm out, I grab my phone and check the time. It’s eight in the morning and I know I should be getting ready to go and meet Brittany at Starbucks at ten but I don’t want to leave Nolan’s side. She called last night and said she wanted to talk to me about Tyler. I found it odd but I told her I would meet up with her anyway. I wasn’t sure what she had to say about him but I was definitely going to find out.
I don’t know what Nolan will say once he’s awake. I don’t know how he will react once he notices that he’s in my bedroom and not drunk out of his mind anymore. He told me last night he was sorry and he loved me but what was he so sorry about? When I asked him if he’d cheated on me, I really wanted an answer but I knew I wasn’t going to get one because he was fighting his sleep.
Sighing, I pull away from him slowly and climb out of bed. I get the cleaner from beneath the sink and clean off the toilet and the floors and then start the shower. The water feels nice and for some reason I’m