ago.” Sharon flips her hair over her shoulder, bringing me out of my worries for a moment. “Look, this is awkward,” she says with a dry chuckle. Her mascaraed eyelashes bat at me as she presses her pink lips around the rim of her wine glass to take another sip. “I’m really sorry for what I did to you. I was young and naïve and I just wanted to have fun. I know that’s, like, the shittiest excuse on the planet but I really am sorry, Nolan. I shouldn’t have done that to you. You were a good guy . . . I just wasn’t good for you.”
I press my lips together, staring at Sharon while taking note of the sincerity behind her eyes.
To my luck, Mills comes stumbling around the corner with his tie and collar undone, allowing me a reason to look away without making it awkward. He slides out of his jacket and once he reaches sight of Sharon, he frowns.
“Where’s Natalie?” I ask.
“I took her to the airport.”
He steps behind Sharon to get to the wine and crackers and my heart clutches as I glare at him. “Why the hell would you take her to the airport without letting me say goodbye?”
“It was her choice, Nolan. She wanted me to take her before we hit traffic. Plus she said she had to get back because she has to finish up some school work or something.” He takes a sip of red wine then turns to look at Sharon again. “Don’t I know you?”
“Nolan and I used to date,” she says before I can respond.
Mills raises an eyebrow, intrigued by Sharon’s response. “Is that so?” He takes a bite of his cracker before looking at me. “You should be glad Natalie didn’t come, Nolan. If she would have heard that statement there might have been a catfight.” He caps his palm on my shoulder before stepping past Sharon and I. “Excuse me while I pretend to enjoy the guests.”
I grimace at Mills’s back until he completely disappears. How could he do that? I wanted to at least say goodbye to Natalie before she left. I guess this proves how hurt she really is. She couldn’t even find the strength to face me and say goodbye. I want the space but I don’t want too much to change. Now that I know she’s at the airport, it’s killing me. She practically ran away at the first opportunity.
Sighing, I turn to look at Sharon who is still watching me with soft eyes. “We should catch a drink tonight,” she offers.
“No.” I step past her to get to the balcony door. As soon as I’m out, the fall air wraps around me and the breeze toys with my hair. Placing my wine glass on the table, I walk ahead to lean over the railing and gaze toward the endless trees in front of me. I’ve seriously fucked up. I said so much shit out of anger, frustration, and hurt and she just . . . left. I’m not sure how to deal with it but the weight on my shoulders is much heavier now.
I wanted Natalie to be happier but I think I’ve made it worse for her. Watching her cry and break down last night destroyed me but she doesn’t need someone like me right now. From the start, I only wanted one thing but it transformed into something else entirely. Something more. How can I make her happy when I’m not happy myself? How can I get her to smile when I don’t want to reveal one?
The balcony door creaks open behind me and I glance over my shoulder, watching as Mills steps out. He sighs heavily, stepping up to my side and leaning his elbows on the rails with me. “As soon as she came back to the car, I asked her what was wrong and she started bawling her eyes out,” he says. “She told me what you had said to her last night . . . well some of it. I couldn’t make out everything.”
I turn to look at him slowly but he’s looking ahead at the trees. His features are harder and more tired than normal. He finally turns to look at me and I sigh, raking a hand through my hair. “I told her I needed some space. I don’t want it to be permanent. I just don’t know how to deal with her when I’m feeling like this. I’d rather pick myself