a couple of aunts and a few cousins, but I felt detached, as if I didn’t really fit in anywhere. I couldn’t have done it when they were here. I didn’t want to hurt them and make them think that everything they’d done for me had been a waste of their time. They were so proud of everything I’ve achieved.’
‘You should be proud of yourself,’ says Lauren. ‘Despite everything you’ve been through, you’ve turned into a wonderful young woman.’
‘Thank you,’ says Jess. ‘If only everyone thought so.’
‘Kate, you mean?’
Jess nods, pulling at the tissue that’s in her lap.
‘Just give her time, she’ll come around,’ says Lauren, all the while thinking, not in a million years.
14
Kate
The motion of the train is making Kate feel sick, its rhythmic movement matched by her swaying reflection in the window opposite. It’d probably be best to focus on something else, something still, but every time she looks down to read her book, the words swim on the page.
She closes her eyes and the nausea immediately subsides, until she remembers the jabbing of a needle into the inside of her arm, as the nurse had struggled to find a juicy enough vein to draw blood from. Kate’s hand instinctively goes to the site, her fingers able to feel the ball of cotton wool that is taped over the puncture through the fabric of her jacket.
‘It’s not normally this difficult,’ the nurse had commented as she’d tried, and tried again, to tap a vein into action. ‘It’s probably because you’re slim.’
Kate refrained from saying that only a bad workman blamed his tools. She’d had enough blood tests to know that she wasn’t the problem.
It had only been two weeks since the embryo transfer, but it had felt like a month – a year even, as she’d spent every second wondering whether she might be pregnant. Yet in just a few short hours, Kate will find out one way or another, and whatever the outcome, she knows that she’s in this moment, the right here and now, for the last time. Because whether she is or isn’t, she’s not going through this again.
‘Nice of you to join us,’ Lee, her editor, calls out, as she walks into the open-plan office twenty minutes later. ‘We’re going into conference in five.’
She waves a nonchalant hand in the air. ‘Okay guys,’ she says, in a hushed tone to the three reporters on the desks facing hers. ‘What have we got?’
Her team run through some potential stories, but it’s all pretty thin gruel: a sacked manager; a couple of film premieres that evening; a soap star walking their dog. Daisy, the intern, has picked up on an interview in an American magazine, where an A-list actress admits to having had cosmetic surgery.
‘Mmm,’ says Kate, thinking on her feet. ‘So let’s pull the article, rewrite it and get some photos through the years? I’ll offer it up as a picture-led spread.’
‘Sure,’ says Daisy, all too eagerly, and Kate can’t help but love her for it.
‘Two minutes!’ barks Lee.
Kate hastily collects today’s celebrity magazine spreads that are strewn across her desk and flicks through them as she makes her way to the boardroom. In the absence of a strong lead story, she’s got one more option up her sleeve.
‘So, what have you got, Kate?’ asks Lee, once they’ve decided that a surprise announcement from the Home Secretary isn’t enough for a front page of its own.
‘Well, it’s a bit left field and it might be something the features team want to take up, but police in the States are using a new tactic to catch criminals.’
‘Is this where they’re uploading a suspect’s DNA to genealogy websites?’ questions Lee.
‘Yeah, that’s the one,’ says Kate.
‘I like the story, but it doesn’t work for the front page, unless your desk has found a celebrity element to it? Any of the crimes in or around LA?’
Kate nods. ‘I can look into it.’
‘Great, if we can find a celebrity connection, it might make a splash. Do we know of anyone famous who was almost a victim in one of these crimes? Maybe a celebrity’s parent knows one of the guys they’ve caught using this method? Were friends with him? Maybe their kid played with his kid – that kind of thing.’
Kate’s heart drops, not just at the enormity of the task, but because she just doesn’t have the appetite for this kind of journalism anymore. She wants to report on stories that matter, not the tenuous links between a