what’s coming.
‘Erm, yep, two,’ he says, clearing his throat.
She bites down on her lip to stop herself from crying.
‘And what about you?’ he asks hoarsely. ‘Married? Kids?’
How could such a simple question be so difficult to answer? She looks out to her car, where, no doubt, Armageddon is in full swing, and before she knows it, she’s shaking her head.
‘N-no,’ she mutters, feeling as if she’s lost control of her senses. She’s sure her brain is telling her head to nod, but no matter how hard she tries, she can’t seem to comply.
‘Wow,’ says Justin, shaking his head from side to side. ‘I’ve just always assumed that . . .’
‘No,’ she says, more assertively. ‘It just wasn’t to be.’
‘Wow,’ he says again, before laughing nervously. ‘It’s so good to see you.’
Lauren can’t help but feel disappointed. In herself, for how she looks and what she’s said, but most of all because she knows this chance meeting is coming to its natural end.
Ever since Justin had told her it was over, not a day has gone by when she hasn’t thought about him, wondering how their perfect life together had gone so wrong.
‘But how can you say that?’ she’d cried down the phone, the day before her seventeenth birthday.
‘It’s just how I feel,’ he’d said, matter-of-factly.
‘You told me you loved me two days ago. You promised we’d be together for ever. What’s changed?’
‘You!’ he’d said. ‘You’re not the person I thought you were.’
None of what he was saying made any sense. ‘Of course I am. I’m still me.’
‘I’m sorry, but I just don’t love you anymore,’ he’d said before putting the phone down.
No matter how many times she’d tried calling him back and no matter how many times she’d pleaded with his mum to let her see him, he’d never spoken to her again. Just like that, he’d destroyed two and a half years of a love so intense that she didn’t think she’d ever breathe again.
Why why why? she wants to scream now, as he pulls her into an awkward embrace. She closes her eyes as her chin rests on his shoulder, his familiar smell transporting her back to those painful teenage years. Despite the harrowing memories, she wishes she could stay here, because no matter what, Justin had always made her feel safe. He’d never treat her like Simon does.
‘Good to see you too,’ she says, removing herself from his arms.
She’s already working out whether she’s got enough time to get to her car and drive off before he pays for his fuel. She doesn’t know why she lied to him, but now that she has, she can’t run the risk of him seeing two red-faced babies screaming in the back seat.
‘Take care,’ she says, backing out the shop door.
He offers a sad smile and raises his hand.
She turns and hurriedly makes her way to her car, just managing to get a grip on the handle when she hears her name being called.
‘Lauren, wait up.’
‘Shit, shit, shit,’ she says under her breath before turning and almost running back to him.
Justin laughs nervously. ‘Listen, I know this may sound completely crazy, but do you want to get together?’ He looks everywhere but at her. ‘For a catch-up.’
Lauren’s mouth dries up and she feels as if she has a tennis ball lodged in her throat.
‘No, you’re right,’ he says, without her saying a word. ‘It’s probably not a good—’
‘I’d love to,’ she says, without even realizing it. What the hell was she thinking?
Justin grins. ‘Really? Wow, great, can I give you my number?’
Her head’s racing at a million miles an hour, wondering how she’s got herself into this situation and how to get herself out of it. All the time, knowing that she doesn’t want to.
‘Or perhaps I can take yours?’
She shakes her head, thinking of Simon and what he would do if he found out that she’d given her number to another man. It’d be bad enough if he thought it was a stranger. She can’t bear to think what he’d do if he knew it was the boy she once loved more than anything.
‘No, I’ll call you,’ says Lauren quickly, before realizing in a hot-headed panic that her phone is in the car. She hops from one foot to another as she contemplates what to do. If she goes to get it, he’s likely to follow, and then what will he think? She hedges her bets, hoping that the one she puts money on won’t let her down.
‘Listen,’ she