an Italian sports car, you’ll be deeply unsurprised to know.
I can’t remember what make it was – it wasn’t one of the famous ones, like Ferrari – but I do recall that it had a very long bonnet, and big rear-wheel arches. He loved that fucking car. He certainly spent an inordinate amount of time polishing it.
I close my eyes and rub them, trying to scour the memory of the car from my mind.
. . . trying to scour the memory of Robert Ainslie Blake from it, as well.
This is of course impossible, given that Robert is many, many things, but forgettable is not one of them. Much like a really, really bad case of diarrhoea is unforgettable. Or World War Two. Or that Cats movie, where they made Judi Dench do all those unspeakable things.
And I doubt Nolan Reece is going to forget about him any time soon, either.
Nor is he likely to forget about all the sordid details no doubt imparted to him about my relationship with Robert, over half an hour of hardcore manspreading – which could all spell the end for any future I might have with Nolan.
Nadia is probably right about my job. I doubt that’s in any real danger thanks to Robert’s revelations.
But my relationship with Nolan? That’s an entirely different matter.
Damn you, Robert Ainslie Blake.
Damn you, your manspreading and your penis-shaped car to hell and back!
Chapter Nine
THE TALE OF THE NEFARIOUS NARWHAL
This morning, when I got in to work, I went straight back into Nolan’s office, and started babbling at him again about how much I had truly changed, and how he could trust me going forward, and how I was committed to Viridian and him, more than I could ever express in words.
‘Okay, Ellie,’ he tells me, holding up one hand. ‘You don’t have to keep explaining yourself to me.’
Oh, but I do, Nolan. I have to keep explaining myself to you until I die.
‘I believe what you’re saying,’ he continues. ‘I went home and thought about it a lot last night, and I think you’ve been a bit hard on yourself.’
‘Do you?’
‘Yes. Okay, you weren’t honest about things to begin with, but you were trying to keep your job.’
‘Yes! Yes I was!’
‘And you’ve done such a good job ever since. I find it hard to believe you don’t care about the environment.’
‘That’s right!’
Nolan’s face darkens a little. ‘I just wish you’d mentioned your previous relationship with that . . . man.’
‘I know! I know! I’m sorry, Nolan! I really am!’ My knees feel like they want to buckle, just so I can get down on them and beg.
‘Can you promise me you’ll be honest and open with me from now on?’
‘Of course!’
He nods. ‘Then let’s try not to worry about it any more.’
‘You forgive me?’
He looks a little awkward. ‘Yes. Yes, of course I do.’
‘Oh God, thank you!’ I say, eyes filling with tears. I take a step towards him . . . but he backs away from me as I do so. My heart sinks.
Nolan may say he has forgiven me, but I’m not entirely sure he believes it himself.
‘Shall we . . . shall we get to work?’ he says, going around to sit back in the chair behind his desk – subconsciously putting a large, solid barrier between us.
‘Um. Yes, yes. Okay,’ I reply, the taste of ashes in my mouth.
I also sit down, trying to switch my brain into work mode again. This has been an easy thing for me to do in the past, when things were going well with Nolan.
It most certainly is not easy now.
All I want to do is make things right with him again. All I want is for things to go back to the way they were.
I want to know that he forgives me properly . . . in a way that doesn’t make him want to back away from me, and put a desk between us.
‘I’d like to discuss World Action Today,’ Nolan says in a matter-of-fact voice.
My shoulders slump a little.
Okay.
That’s the way it is for now, then . . .
‘World Action Today?’ I say, trying to mirror his matter-of-factness, and probably failing miserably.
‘Yes. They’re holding an event tomorrow at the seafront. I’ve managed to book us in a meeting with their CEO just before it kicks off. I was going to go down there and speak to her myself, but I’ve now got another important matter to take care of, so I was hoping . . .’
‘I’ll do