they’re expecting us.
Vince and Tony open the trunk of the car.
There are four black guns. One for each of us.
Vince grabs one. Then Tony does, followed by Luke.
I grab the last of the guns. It’s cold and heavy in my hands. We walk out to the middle of the road and stand in a line.
I can’t do this. I can’t be this person. I can’t shoot at someone.
Vince raises his gun. Luke and Tony do the same thing.
I do as well.
And then Luke pulls the trigger.
The gunfire is so loud. Deafening, even. The glass front window of the house shatters as bullets shred the house. Bits of plaster explode off the walls. The peppering of bullets is relentless.
I join in, aiming low. I know how to shoot; Dad made me take lessons when I was younger. I started with a handgun and then moved up until I learned how to shoot one of these. I hated it even then, I guess because I knew I wouldn’t be aiming at paper targets forever.
I aim at the garden out the front. I hope our shots will all blend together so nobody will notice what I’m doing.
There’s a gunshot, higher pitched than the others, and then I see a spark on the ground to my left.
They returned fire.
I crouch and run back to the car. There are more sparks on the ground.
My heart pounds so hard. Luke, Tony, and Vince join me behind the car.
Bullets speak against the front of the car. Luke is staring at the ground. I think he’s concentrating. Counting, maybe.
There’s a lull. Luke stands up, and aims his gun over the roof of the car.
He fires. I hear a single shout.
I know I’m never going to get that sound out of my head. For the rest of my life, it’ll be etched in.
The night stills.
I think he hit him. Luke has finally done it.
He’s killed someone.
“It’s done,” says Luke. “Let’s go.”
We all climb into the car, and I catch a glimpse of the house. It’s totally shredded. Through the shattered windows, I can see a body on the ground. He’s barefoot. We might’ve woken him.
I look down.
The once pretty flower garden has now been totally eviscerated. I was a part of this. A man is dead, and I was a part of it.
That’s undeniable.
I stare out the window again.
Tony plants his foot on the gas, and we speed away, into the night.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Jason is leaning against the pink wall of the Sunshine Diner.
It was his idea for our first date.
It’s the same chain as the one we went to on the night we met, but it’s not the same location. That one is too close to the bar where my family hangs out, which meant I wouldn’t be able to relax. If it’s even possible to relax on my first-ever date. Or at all, given everything.
I can’t stop thinking about Ryan. And about the unknown man Luke killed a few nights ago.
Yet we keep pretending we’re just ordinary guys, not involved in the underworld at all. I know we both want that so badly. But still. How long can we keep pretending?
Jason has his earbuds in. He’s nodding his head along to whatever he’s listening to. He’s so damn cute. Even with everything going on, I can’t help but notice that. He’s wearing a casual green button-down, skinny jeans, and sneakers.
I love that he’s wearing a button-down. It nails home that this is a date.
The lot is dimly lit, with most of the light coming from the neon sign on the front of the diner. I weirdly love the mix of neon and nighttime. Something about it is kind of cinematic.
Jason notices me and raises a hand.
Everything feels so surreal.
I’m on a date. Not only with a boy, but with Jason. The sweet, gay gamer, who gets me in a way nobody ever has. A freaking star baseball player, who is smart and funny and so damn hot.
But he’s Jason Donovan.
How can I keep ignoring that part of him?
But I needed to see him. Even though he’s a Donovan, he’s the one person who gets it. Nobody else I know understands how I feel about this world. Everyone else expects me to be fine with the fact that Luke killed someone a few nights ago. I’m supposed to be happy about it, even.
Not Jason, though.
I feel like he gets it. Gets me.
It’s hypnotic.
I climb out of the car.
“You’re early,” I say as I close my car door.
I’m also early,