have my new suit and my tie. I hope they don’t get too wrinkled. I’ll put them on once I get to his school. It’s my new one, the one I’m supposed to wear to the Miller ball. It actually fits me, and it makes a big difference. In this suit, I think I look a lot older. I finally look how I’m supposed to.
My thoughts drift back to Jason. If he truly is some undercover sleuth trying to figure out my family secrets, he must know that inviting me to his school is an epically bad idea. I could literally go up to any student in his grade and point at him and be like: See that guy over there? What’s his last name? If I asked enough people I’m sure someone would know.
Then again, there’s a chance that’s not the case. At school, people know me as Matt Thomas. It’s the name Luke and Dad go by when in the real world, too. Thomas. Our civilian name.
It’s boring and blends into a crowd.
If Matt Miller enrolled into a school, I’m sure the cops would keep an eye on him.
Matt Thomas, though?
Nobody cares about him. Same with Luke Thomas, and the rest of my family. Other Millers have different fake names, so if they get caught, they won’t be able to find everyone. This level of stealth allows us to have another life. Some of my relatives have day jobs, and their coworkers would have no idea they’re near a member of a powerful crime family.
Anyway.
If Jason is a Donovan, then maybe their family uses the same trick.
But still. If he cares about keeping his last name a secret from me, then inviting me to the dance is a bad idea.
Maybe I just want to keep my one friend, even though I know it was probably all a lie.
It’s just … what would I be doing tonight if it weren’t for him? I’d probably just be staying at home, watching stuff on the internet. Which I like, obviously … but it’s nice to do stuff other than that and school. He feels like my ticket to all these new things. And I don’t think I’m confident enough to be one of those people who goes out and does things alone.
Like to the movies.
It’d be so nice to have a friend to see movies with. Going alone makes me way too anxious, like everyone is judging me. I’m also so scared of running into someone from school, and them knowing I saw a movie by myself.
I can’t give up on this. I just can’t.
I check myself out in the mirror. I need a haircut, as my hair is looking especially shaggy right now. I smooth down a wonky bit in the back and then preen the front bit that hangs over my forehead. I’m not going to say bangs, because that’s so not what they are.
“You’re dressed up,” says Luke, making me jump. He leans against my doorframe and smiles at me.
My door is half open, my thoughts have been spiraling so much I didn’t notice.
“Looks good, but what are you up to?”
“Nothing.”
“So you’re just going to hang out in your room in a suit?”
“Ugh, fine. You know that girl I was texting?”
“Yeah?”
“She asked me to a dance.”
“Holy shit!” he says. “That’s a definite sign.”
“Of what?”
“That she’s serious. For some reason she wants your sorry ass as a boyfriend. Are you okay with that, because that’s where whatever this is is heading? Trust me.”
I shake my head. “It’s a friend thing.”
This is new territory. Us, talking about my dating life. Not that I had one before. Plus, I’m not sure how much he actually knows about this stuff and how much is just bravado. For all of Luke’s ways, he’s never actually had a girlfriend. He’s had plenty, and I mean plenty, of hookups, sure, but nothing serious or long-term. I’ve always assumed he doesn’t want that.
But right now I sort of get a vibe from him. He seems jealous.
“A dance is a big deal, man,” he says. “Even you must know that.”
“I already said, it’s just a friend thing. She doesn’t … you know. See me like that. At least I don’t think she does.”
“Oh,” he says. “But it’s more for you?”
I mean. I guess it is. I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m not sure that’s a normal friend thing.
“I dunno.”
“Dude, you’re a Miller. Don’t forget that. Just be brave and go for it.”
“That’s hard, though. I think