still unable to believe I had reacted so badly to the death of a man I hadn’t even really met.
“This sucks,” I said, still watching the ceiling.
I held back more tears, but they were obvious in my voice. Without saying anything, Adrian pulled me into his lap, and I broke. I tucked my head into his neck, which smelled of lemon soap. I let tears pour down my face and couldn’t even get out the words to apologize for getting tears on his scrubs. His arms were strong around me, comforting. I just let my body melt against him and was unsurprised to find that we fit together perfectly. Of course, we did, because there couldn’t be a single thing that could possibly give me a reason not to fall for him. So, I forgot it all and for a moment, just let myself be vulnerable.
“It does suck,” he agreed.
A hand of his reached up to card through my hair, and the motion was so calming that my tears slowed and then stopped. I left my face in his neck just a little bit longer, because there, I was safe from reality. All I had to do when I was wrapped in his arms was breathe and exist. Moments stretched into eternities, and it was still just him and me, and it made me think that I could do it. I could get up and be a doctor as long as I had those arms to come back to at the end of everything.
Of course, then I remembered.
“Aren’t you going to be late for Jasmine’s surgery?” I asked.
I tilted my face up to see Adrian’s, and there was no denying the worry in his face.
“We’ve got a couple minutes,” he said slowly.
“In which you have to scrub in and prepare yourself mentally!”
I pulled myself out of his arms and folded the hurt about Tucker into a nice little box where I could further explore it if I ever had time. I stood and dragged the man to his feet.
“I’m not going without you,” Adrian stated.
“You would,” I countered.
He bit his lip.
“Yeah, I would. I mean, it’s her life, you know?”
“And that’s why I like you so much.”
The words slipped out before I could hold them back, before I could register what my mouth was saying. It was too late, I’d ruined everything and—
He was kissing me.
It wasn’t deep; it wasn’t urgent. It was light and gentle. The kind of kiss that said there would be time for explanations. Then, we were separate people again, and we were almost running up to the OR.
He had a life to save.
Everything was successful.
It was a really phenomenal operation to watch, and with my eyes trained on the genius that was Adrian Price, I could only consider myself lucky that I had the honor of holding open a body cavity while he inserted a 50cc SynCardia artificial heart into the youngest patient ever seen.
Jasmine was in recovery, and while Kayla was informed of the success, I stood on the sidelines and basked in the joy and excitement emanating from everyone. She wasn’t out of the woods, not by a long shot, but the surgery had been a success, her new heart beat in her chest, and she had a new chance at life.
I took a moment to consider Adrian’s kiss, and as much as it had been a mistake that could never be repeated, it had also been the one thing I’d needed to pull me back from the edge. All I knew for sure was that if he hadn’t done that, I probably would have missed the most important operation I might ever lay my eyes on. I felt like there was electricity in my veins: from the surgery, from the kiss, and from my own elation at being alive. A shadow still lurked from the earlier events of the day, but I couldn’t dwell, wouldn’t dwell.
“Dr. Christophers, could I have a word, please?” A deep voice asked.
I turned and the smile fell from my face immediately. My father stood behind me, his hands clasped in front of him and his face serious. Whatever he wanted from me couldn’t be a good thing. Refusing to deny him and risk a scene when Kayla was sobbing tears of joy and hugging Adrian, I followed my father as he led me back to his office.
The office itself was as bare and impersonal as my own apartment. I definitely hadn’t got that trait from my clutter-loving