he was talking to. He lifted his hands over their eyes and helped them out of the house. Even from where I stood, I knew it was her.
When they were both fully on the front porch, he turned her to face me. Then, he dropped his hands. I held my breath and forgot every reason I’d ever been upset at her. Instead, I stood there, frozen with anticipation.
She tilted her head to the side and studied me. Then, her eyes grew large. “Ethan!”
She hurried down the front steps and took off towards me. She leapt into my arms and I pulled her close. She even smelled the same. It was a smell that I couldn’t place, but it could not be replicated.
She trembled as I let her down to her feet, her hands still latched to my biceps. Although she’d aged, to me, she still looked exactly the same. The biggest difference now, however, was that she looked healthy. And happy.
“I can’t stop shaking,” she said, removing her grip only to quickly wipe her eyes before she was holding onto me again.
“How’d you know it was me?” I asked.
“Ethan, I would never forget your face. You’re my son. My son is here.” She hugged me again. Then, she turned. “Carl, this is Ethan. My son. My little boy, Ethan. Ethan, this is Carl. He’s my fiancé.”
The man walked over and shook my hand. He had a head full of thick, black hair and light green eyes. He reminded me of a slightly taller version of Steve Mariucci, and from the way my mother looked at him, I could tell that he was nothing like the men I’d been used to seeing her with. This one had bought her a house and asked him to marry her. This was a man who truly treasured the woman he chose to love.
My mind began to wander to Alexandra until my mother grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the house. I obliged and entered the warm space that smelled like a cinnamon spice scented candle. The cozy set up and wooden floors reminded me of a cottage.
She dragged me all the way over to the living room couch and pulled my hand between both her palms. Eyes glittering with tears gazed into mine and she reached up, pulled off my cap, and ruffled her hands through my hair, another gesture that I suddenly remembered her doing. Carl began to excuse himself to give us some privacy, but I shook my head and called him back into the room.
“You grew up to be so handsome,” she said, touching the side of my face. “I miss the chubby cheeks though.”
“I don’t,” I replied, laughing.
“And you have facial hair! I can’t believe my boy has facial hair. So handsome. Tell me, are you seeing anybody?” She picked up my left hand. “Married? Kids? Tell me everything. I want to know everything. Googling you and talking to Dad only skimmed the surface.”
I did want to tell her everything, even the situation with Alexandra, but I had some questions of my own that I needed answered first.
“I don’t mean to spring this on you like this,” I began, “but I have…questions.”
She nodded. “Of course you do. Ask me anything, sweetheart. I’ll do anything to make things right between us. That life is so far behind me that I’m not ashamed of the questions anymore. I’ve been blessed.”
She glanced over at Carl and he winked back at her.
“Well, there’s been something that’s been bothering for quite a while. Years, actually. It has to do with what happened with,” I glanced over at Carl, “John Ezra.”
“Oh, Carl knows everything so don’t be afraid to speak openly,” she assured.
“Well, I want to know what happened,” I said. “See, in my head, and you can tell me if this is twisted, the fact that you didn’t leave with me in the middle of the night and did what you did meant that, you didn’t choose me. That, you didn’t want me.”
Her lids gaped so wide that I could nearly see the entire whites of her eyes. Then, she began to frantically shake her head. “Oh no, baby. No. That’s not what happened at all. I told Dad to explain it to you once you were old enough, but I see now that didn’t happen. It could also be because he’d already began forgetting a lot of things by then. But I guess now is a better time than any to tell