couch, fell into it, and as I went to plop down in the other corner, he pulled me onto his lap. I automatically cringed because I was sweaty, but he touched his lips to my chest right in the middle of the moisture and pulled back without a grimace or gag.
“Can I say something?” I asked.
“Of course, Buttercup.”
I cringed a second time. “Did you get really good news?”
He tossed back his head and laughed. “Because I was so light on my feet earlier? Not exactly, my love.”
“You’re acting differently, though.”
He rubbed a trail over my knuckles. “It’s like I was saying, Alexandra, I don’t want to lose you and these past few weeks, it became a real possibility. I’ve been neglecting you and I’ve been acting even more uptight than usual. I wanted to show you that I can let loose too.”
I froze. “What do you mean by too?”
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Gia,” he clarified. “I know it’s because she’s more interesting and fun. It made me jealous, so I wanted to show you that I can be fun too. Cut loose a little bit. Alexandra,” he squeezed my fingers, “I cannot lose you right now.”
I was officially lower than that last ladder rung. Was there anything lower than complete selfishness? Did my deceit know no bounds?
He touched my chin and brought my lips down to his. Nausea created a disturbance in the pits of my stomach, and I lost all of the will that I’d built to tell him about Ethan. It wouldn’t be right to drop that on him when he was so vulnerable, especially when I’d assumed that I couldn’t hurt him or that he’d never cared about me enough for my leaving him to have an effect. Now, I wasn’t as sure.
He touched my thigh. “Come on. Let’s go take a shower.”
“Together?” My heart began leaping in my chest. He had a look in his eyes that suggested that he’d be expecting sex, and I hadn’t touched him since the first time Ethan touched me. It was a crazy and absurd notion, but at this point, sleeping with Roderick would feel like cheating on Ethan. Sex with Roderick would be betrayal of epic proportions.
“Of course,” he replied, chuckling. “I’ll wash your back if you—”
His phone vibrated on the coffee table, cutting him off. He stared at the number, wrinkled his brows, and then glanced at me. He turned the phone towards me and I recognized the area code from Bristol, Maine, where his parents had retired. They’d bought a quaint, waterfront cape cod on Biscay Pond and spent three hundred days out of the year on the water.
“Hello?” he answered, his frown softening to concern. I listened to snatches of the conversation and from his deep, “what happened,” I could tell that something was wrong. Although extremely healthy people for their ages, a few years ago, Roderick’s father had occasional problems with his heart due to plaque buildup in his arteries.
“Okay Mom,” he said. “I’ll fly out tonight. Okay. I love you too.” He ended the call and gripped the phone in his palm. “I have to fly out to Bristol tonight, Buttercup.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Dad had a heart attack.”
My nausea swirled even faster as I imagined what would have happened if I’d dropped my bomb on Roderick earlier.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” I wrapped my arm around his shoulders. “Do you want me to look up our tickets?”
He glanced up at me. “Our?”
“Yes…or do you not want me to come with you?”
“I just didn’t think you would.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged. “No reason, but it’s okay, Alexandra. My mother said that it was mild and that the hospital’s keeping him overnight for observation, so I want to go up there and be with her.”
I searched his face. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” He pressed a quick kiss against my lips and patted my thigh.
“I’ll still book the ticket for you,” I said, sliding off his lap. “You go upstairs, take a shower, and pack.”
He started off but then stopped, turned, and looked at me. “Were you really going to come?”
“I still can.”
“It’s okay. Like I said, I just didn’t expect you to offer. Thank you, Buttercup.”
I smiled. “You’re welcome, Rick.”
“Keep your phone on, though. If things take a turn for the worse, I might still need to send for you.”
I nodded and he hopped up the stairs.
I booked him a first-class ticket and a couple of hours later, we were saying goodbye at the