envied that part of my sister. Where my sister was herself at all times, I was more of a piece of clay that my parents molded and reshaped to their liking in order to display on their mantel in front of all of their ritzy friends.
“And it wasn’t with Rick,” she added.
I tried to rein in the guilt, but she’d already seen it. “How did you know?”
“Who was it?” She pulled over the stool that she used when she spent endless hours in front of her easel. “Is it somebody I know? Is he sexy?”
“Gia, I just cheated on Rick.”
“And we’ll get to that. But, in the meantime, who is the person responsible for you walking in here with your hair all over the place and the sore pussy limp?”
I shielded my face. Like I said, although I flinch and cower, I envy that freedom. That bad-assed-ness.
“Gia, you know how I get when you start talking about—”
“Pussy and dick,” she finished, waving the words into the air. “So, who was he?” Her brow lifted. “Wait, was it a man? Because, I wouldn’t judge you if it wasn’t. I’ve had curiosities myself and —”
“Gia, I’m not this woman,” I declared, letting my head fall. “I’m not the kind of woman who loses control or cheats or…this just isn’t me. But, if I were being completely honest with you, a part of me feels amazing. I’ve never had a man be as attentive as Ethan was. It’s going to be hard to go back to —”
“Ethan?” She gasped so hard that she nearly rocked herself off of the stool. “You and Dr. Stewart? Dr. Stewart did this? Girl, give me a high five!”
She held up her hand and refused to drop it until we’d swatted palms.
“Way to knock it out the park, Alle,” she went on. “The minute I saw him, I knew that he could put down some dick. I think it’s the way he walks. He’s got this confidence in his walk that makes me think that he’s left a ton of screaming women in his wake. So…how was it? Was it massive?”
I stared at her. She was dead serious.
“It was…ok,” I answered.
“Tell the truth and shame the devil.”
“Really, Gia?”
She grinned. “Eli’s been gone for a few days now and I need all the imagery that I can get. We tried to do the Skype sex thing the other day but it wasn’t enough.”
I continued to stare at her in disbelief and then sighed as I gave in. “His…penis…was impressive. Very impressive.”
“And how’d everything happen?”
“I have no idea,” I honestly replied. “One minute we were talking, the next he was giving me a shoulder massage that turned me on way more than it probably should have, and then suddenly he was giving me a,” I broke our eye-contact in favor of an abstract painting on the wall, “…tongue massage.”
She grinned and clapped her hands. “The man eats pussy? You’ve really hit the jackpot, Alle. So, I take it that he was good?”
“Gia, he was freakin’ amazing.” I discreetly squeezed my thighs together as all of the imagery came flooding back. “But, it can’t happen again. I messed up and I feel awful. Rick called me in the middle of it and I didn’t even stop. I didn’t want to stop. I still haven’t called him back. I don’t know what to say to him. How can I look him in the face again after this?”
She straightened on the stool and crossed her arms. Her brows came together as though she was either upset, thinking, or both. As much as I loved my sister, and as much as I knew she loved me, there was no way that she, as a married woman, would really be able to excuse my behavior.
“First of all, I don’t like Rick,” she began. “So, you won’t find any sympathy for him here. In the few years that you two have been together, this is the first mistake that you’ve made as opposed to all of the ridiculous shit that he expects of you like you’re some sort of China doll. I think you’re beating yourself up too much.”
Neither Gia nor Grandma Evelyn made it a secret that they didn’t like Roderick. Grandma Evelyn endlessly tried to convince me to leave the relationship before I got hurt, although she never explained what she assumed he would do to hurt me. Gia would force me to spend time with her and Eli by going hiking and playing