as my comprehension.
I walked to the bathroom door and knocked. “Alle?”
“I’m fine,” she called out, her voice thick.
“Are you crying?” I tugged on the door. “Alle, what’s going on? What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
Silence.
“Alle, open the door.”
She still made no effort to unlock the bathroom door, and I searched my mind to try to piece everything together to determine what had happened. It wasn’t an easy to do when dealing with women, however.
“I’m sorry about the condom thing,” I said. “I should’ve asked you first, but I figured that since you’re on the pill…” My words then slowly trailed off. I’d told Alexandra that I loved her, and that I was in love with her, and had yet to receive a response. Now, she was locked inside my bathroom, crying after sex.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I growled. “Alexandra, open this door.”
I stomped across the room, pulled on my shorts and sat on the bed. A few seconds later, the door opened. Her eyes were puffy, red and moist.
“Ethan, I’m sor—”
“What do you think this is? That I’m just some dude that you’re fucking on the side? Is that what this is? Because let me know now and all of this shit, I’ll forget it.”
“I was going to—”
“I don’t even know what I’m doing.” I treaded my fingers through my hair. “I must be fucking crazy. You’re another man’s woman.”
“Ethan, you know that’s not the case.”
“I can’t believe that I was so stupid.”
I rose from the bed and brushed past her into the walk-in closet. My car was still at Chophouse and if Tayler or Kellen were still here, I’d just bum a ride off of one of them to get it.
“You might want to get dressed,” I barked.
She flinched and my chest tugged, but my pride wouldn’t let me buckle.
“I was going to talk to him, but then he hired a dance instructor for us to learn how to rumba,” she tried to explain. “Then, his mother called and said that his father had a heart attack. There was just too much going on and it didn’t feel right.”
I stopped. “Let me guess, couple shit?”
She flinched again. My pain was showing and I made no effort to try to hide it. But, I wasn’t only upset with her. I was pissed at myself. I was never supposed to be the man in this situation. I’d never before gone near an attached woman, but with Alexandra, I had no choice. I just acted. I was drawn to this woman and even in her betrayal, looking at her tear-stained face in my closet entryway still made me want to do whatever I could to make her pain go away. A painful erosion was causing a crater-sized hole in my chest and I was nearly buckling at the sight of her tears. A man like me was never supposed to fall in love. Love was turning me into a fucking psycho.
“Ethan, what do you want me to do?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Nothing. Get dressed.”
“So I can take you to get your car?”
“No. I’m going to ask Tayler. I think Kel needs to get his car too anyhow.”
A fresh set of tears made splotches on her cheeks. “So then, you’re asking me to leave?”
I made the mistake of glancing at her from the corner of my eye.
My defenses melted.
I couldn’t place all of this on her. My assumption was that I was asking her just to be with me, but it was much more than that. She had way more to give up than I did, but I was sick of waiting. I just wasn’t this man. I’d even had sharing problems in grade school. But, I needed reassurance that her words were more than just words.
“Alexandra, I don’t know what to tell you,” I said, defeated.
“I just need time.”
“I’m tapped out, Alexandra.”
I walked past her and back to the front room. I found her clothes folded on the chair near the window and brought them to her. She looked down at them and more tears formed.
“Don’t do this, Ethan,” she pleaded. “I just need time.”
“You’ll need these after your shower,” I told her. “When you’re done, I’ll hop in, we’ll have breakfast and then we’ll go visit my grandfather.”
Her beautiful eyes glistened and she rushed at me for a hug. I kissed the top of her head and an exhale treacherously spilled forth when her arms tightened around me. Like I said, she had me in the palm of her