from different companies who made offers directly to competitors. Getting feedback from people used to judging other dancers at my level could help me move ahead of my peers.
Pam collected more information from me, but she hesitated when I told her my current address.
“You live in Bedford?” she questioned.
“Is that a problem?”
Please don’t say that’s a problem. The Ruby Ballet theater was a meager four miles away from Bedford, so I was confident that I could find a way to class every day. If it came down to it, I could always walk. It would suck, but I’d do anything to get back into ballet school.
“No, not at all,” she said quickly. “We just usually don’t get student applications from students who live in Bedford. I’ll email you all the forms I need, and you can pay online.”
I leaned my head against the mirror when I hung up the phone. Finally, something was going right in this mess of a life I had. I’d need to fake my mom’s signature on some of those documents, but that wouldn’t be a problem. I was sixteen; it’s not like I really needed parental supervision, so it was more of a formality, anyway.
My phone vibrated with an incoming text, and my smile disappeared just as quickly as it had come.
Ryan: I think we need time apart.
I dialed Ryan angrily. There was no way he was going to brush me off like this. It only rang once, and then I was sent to voicemail. I fumed. That idiot just declined my call. Not cool.
Ryan: I’ll call you soon.
Me: I need to hear your voice. Don’t be a coward.
I tapped my finger on the phone and waited. Sure enough, it lit up with a call from Ryan, and I swiped to answer it.
“What the fuck?” I asked angrily.
“Katya, calm down.”
“I am calm!” I shouted at him. I realized the irony only a second later and took a deep breath. “Ryan,” I said in an even tone. “What’s going on with you?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot since you’ve been gone. I realized that we’ve been clinging to each other and avoiding life.”
I was shocked at his statement, but also suspicious. It sounded a little too much like what Richard had said to me. “Where’s this coming from?” I asked him.
“It’s coming from the fact that once you left, I realized I had no one else in my life,” he said angrily. “Katya, you left, and I’m completely alone.” His voice broke towards the end, and I felt tears coming to my eyes.
“And you think this is easier for me? Leaving you tore my heart apart.”
Ryan snorted. “There are a billion reasons why this is easier for you. You’re getting everything you’ve ever dreamed of, and I’m the one left behind with nothing,” he said bitterly.
“You realize that they’re trying to take ballet away from me, right?” I asked him. “You know that ballet is the only thing I care about other than you.”
“Yeah, it sounds horrible to have your own ballet studio and a fancy school that’s designing a special curriculum just for you.”
I gritted my teeth. “Ryan, I love you, but you are making me so angry right now.”
“And you’re making me hate you.” I gasped at his harsh words, and he immediately backpedaled. “KitKat, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
“Is that why you talked to Maverik?” I asked quietly. “You know he hates me.” My heart sunk when he didn’t deny it. “What did you tell him?” I whispered.
There was silence on the other side of the line.
“I didn’t tell him anything that he didn’t already know. KitKat, he doesn’t hate you, and that’s part of the problem. You have a whole new family that doesn’t include me. It feels like you dropped me the moment that something better came along.”
“Ryan, that is not true,” I said harshly. “I would give anything to have you here with me.”
“I believe you,” Ryan said quietly. “But I can’t keep hearing about how amazing things are without me. I need to go out and start living my own life.” There was a moment of silence on the line, and he cleared his throat. “I’m going to ask my parents to transfer to public school.”
“What?” I gasped in shock. “Why would you give up on your future like that?” I could feel my hopes crumbling and my dreams shattering along with his.
“Because it was never my future,” Ryan said sharply. “Ballet was always yours, and I’ve just been