was a truthful one; but then again he hadn’t given me any reason to believe it would be anything but.
“I came here because I heard you were going through some things. The idea of being away from you when I could possibly help was something I couldn’t stomach. I came here because I want to be here with you. I asked you to move in with me because I want you to live here. I’m going to go to your appointments because I want to be there for you and this baby. Nothing I’m doing here is out of obligation.” He rolled over so he was leaning over the top of me. “I need you to listen to me when I say this. Are you hearing me?”
I nodded my head.
“Good. I’ll say this again and again until you believe it. I missed you Emilyn. I’m here to be with you. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what happens. Even if whatever happened between us tonight never happens again, I’m still going to be there for you. Whatever we have right now, and I’m not defining it because I’m not even sure what it is, it’s worth building on. Any crazy notion you have about me being here out of obligation needs to be squashed.”
There was nothing but truth in both his eyes and his voice. His sincerity was heartfelt. But I had more questions and I could tell he was reading the emotions flying across my face.
“What else is going on up here in this pretty little head?” He tapped his finger on my forehead.
“Hmm, well maybe a few things.”
“Shoot! Let’s just get everything out in the open now. I don’t want you walking around our house wondering things when I’m right here, and you can ask me anything.”
“Even if it brings up painful memories?” I was trying to force down the lump that was forming in my throat.
“What’s going on Tiny Girl? You look like you’re about to cry.” He leaned in and lightly kissed me. “I want us to talk about this stuff, even if it’s what happened back in high school. I gave you my explanation but I figured you probably had more questions.”
“Okay, here goes….” I took a deep breath. This was going to hurt, but these questions had been swimming around in my head since the talk that ripped open old wounds.
“Would you have followed your Dad’s advice about letting me go if he hadn’t died in that crash?”
He cleared his throat. “Boy you’re really going for it aren’t you?”
I shook my head, “Never mind. That was insensitive of me to ask. Let’s talk about something else.”
“Em,” He laughed. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. I was kidding around. To answer your question, I don’t know. I’ve asked myself that same question a hundred times. And every time I do, the one thing I keep coming back to is how much I regret taking the advice.”
“So why did you?”
“Another good one. At the time it just seemed right. I always looked up to my Dad as a smart, caring, gentle man. He was my mentor, he was my hero. The love that he and my Mom shared was legendary. I wanted what they had.”
The lump in my throat was too much to handle and tears sprang from my eyes, running down the side of my cheeks.
“So you let me go because you wanted to find someone else to love like your Dad loved your Mom?” Damn it, why did we start talking about this?
“No, you’re not understanding me Em. What I’m saying is, I thought it was best that I let you go live your life. I didn’t want us to have any regrets if we married right out of high school. I thought we would be stronger, better even, for seeing what was out there. I knew I wanted you for the rest of my life, but the idea of you thinking I’d trapped you, or us drifting apart as we grew older, killed me. It was never about finding someone else. You were my girl Emilyn.”
I was full on sobbing now. Trying to catch my breath, I decided it was best that I talked about what happened to me when he left. Maybe it would give me the closure I needed.
“Do you have any idea what I went through after you left?”
“I called around every once in a while to ask about you.” His face became pained.
“I couldn’t function Finley!” I pushed him off