of financial pawn.”
Harper jumped, “No fucking way Em! That’s never going to happen. If he even tries, he will lose that battle. Don’t even think about that.”
“You don’t understand. I have to. West hasn’t been the same person he used to be for a very long time. He’ll do anything he can to get ahead. Hell he even used me to do it. I can’t not think about the possibility...” My eyes were tearing up again. I shook my head, and wiped my finger under my eyes. I stood up. “I don’t think I can talk about this anymore right now. I’m really tired. I think I’m going to go lay down for a bit. Can you wake me when it gets close to dinner time?”
Harper wrapped her arms around me, bringing her hand up to smooth down my hair. “Sure hon.”
I could see the worry etched on her face. She knew the reality of West being a vindictive person to get what he wanted in life, but she was going to be my rock and I was glad for that. I could—and would—survive this because of the people I had in my corner to support me. I needed to clear my head and calm my nerves. Harper was right. Stress wasn’t good for the baby and I had been under a lot of it lately. No matter how the baby issue with West played out, the divorce would still happen. I didn’t want him anymore—not that he’d ever even wanted me—and that would be a done deal soon enough. My ‘problem’ with Finn was festering in the back of my mind, but for now it would need to stay there.
But damn it was hard to forget about that kiss. That toe curling, melt the socks off you, passionate kiss that I swear I still felt on my lips. He may have said that he missed me—and his mouth may have seconded that notion—but I couldn’t ignore how broken I’d been when he left. The shattered pieces of my heart had never mended because I wasn’t enough for him. Those were the thoughts bouncing around in my head as I lay down for my nap; the very same thoughts that would now take a back seat while I focused on my new priorities. I no longer had the luxury of self-indulgence because I had a brand new human being that was relying on me to give it everything. I may have failed in my relationships, but I was determined to be the best Mother to my child that I could; the Mother that she deserved.
Two more appointments followed the first. One for some blood work, and another just to check my progress and make sure the baby was growing properly. I’d had no further contact with West since that one phone call. I’d come to the decision that whatever was going to happen would be out of my control, and if West wanted to be implacable then I would just deal with it. All I could do was live in the ‘now’.
Speaking of which, I was now at a point where my pre-pregnancy clothes no longer fit. I had grown a small little baby bump that was visible to the rest of the world. People at work noticed and were all supportive, and they loved to rub my tummy. At first I’d thought it was weird that people were touching me, but I’d gradually grown accustomed to it. Generally speaking, people loved baby bellies. Their hands would automatically reach out of their own accord and give my belly a little rub—some speaking to the baby as if it could hear them—and then go about their day. This became part of my new routine. I worked four days a week, and the other three days I stayed at home and cleaned, shopped, or stopped by my Dad’s office to help out with any extra little errands that needed doing. He was worried about me overdoing it and exhausting myself, but frankly I loved being busy. It made me feel like I had a purpose. I didn’t want to sit around and ‘rest’. Resting allowed for too much thinking time, and thinking was something I didn’t feel like doing.
It was a Wednesday afternoon when everything changed. It had started out as a normal day. I’d gone to work, done my usual six hours, and come home to do some laundry and start dinner. Harper called me as soon as I walked in