place. I knew this job wouldn’t pay all the bills and it certainly wasn’t what I saw myself doing in the long term, but it was a start. I knew I could keep living with Harper but I’d have to insist on paying for things; even if it was just buying the groceries or paying the electric bill. I knew she’d fight on it but I wouldn’t have it any other way; even if I had to threaten to move out. I knew she loved me and was trying to be a good friend but I couldn’t learn to stand on my own two feet if she wouldn’t let me.
I had an appointment with my lawyer this week as well. He wanted to go over what assets I wanted to request in the divorce settlement. I’d planned on asking for my car to be sent down to me, but I found out that Julia had been driving it and so I no longer wanted it. In fact I didn’t want anything except for Weston’s signature on the bottom of the forms. He could keep the alimony, the house, the furniture, all of it. I just needed it to be done with. Talking with my lawyer about things I shared with West had been hard. It was a reminder of how I’d failed. Thankfully all the documents would be filed and the divorce would be settled in two weeks. I could move on and no longer have daily reminders of what I’d lost.
I made it to Dr. Monroe’s office ten minutes before my appointment, giving me time to fill out the necessary papers and provide them with a brief rundown of my medical history. After I gave them a urine sample they drew my blood, took my vitals, and put me in a room with a medical exam table. I sat down on the paper that covered the table, looking about the room. It was all pretty standard. Jars filled with tongue depressors, cotton balls, and q-tips sitting on a counter by a sink. Winnie the Pooh characters covered one of the walls to help keep little kids occupied.
I’d only been sitting for five minutes when the doctor knocked and came in. He was an older man, short in stature, with pure white hair. He had a very friendly face and when he smiled I could see he had a slight gap between his teeth. He was holding what I assumed to be my records. After introducing himself, he began sorting through some papers and began asking with some basic questions.
“You’re here for STD testing, is that correct?” He stood and came to listen to my heart and lungs with his stethoscope. I took a deep breath, because well, wasn’t that what everyone did when someone puts a stethoscope on your chest?
“Yes that’s correct.”
“I know this may sound intrusive, but do you have more than one sexual partner?”
“No sir.” He helped me lie down so he could palpitate my stomach and listen to the sounds as well.
“Hmmm… okay. Well I have your preliminary test results.” He turned to take a seat on his rolling stool.
Oh thank god! I was going to get answers. He startled me by asking me “When was the first day of your last period Emilyn?”
Unsure I started thinking back. Why was he asking me that question? “I think it was about four weeks ago. I haven’t had a period yet but I just assumed it was because I’m a little stressed out and have a lot going on.” I started biting at my lip, a habit I had when I was feeling nervous.
“Well, I see that you checked the box that you are married, maybe you should call your husband in to hear this news.” He was looking at me with curiosity and I had no idea why.
“Actually I am in the middle of a divorce, which is why I’m here getting tested. I need to know that whoever he was with was clean.” His eyes grew wide, but he quickly pieced together what I was telling him. Then something occurred to me. “Oh my god, did you find something in those tests? Do I have a lump somewhere? Am I dying?” I was panicking! I was too young for cancer. But that’s what everyone that gets cancer says. They never thought it would happen to them. Feeling myself beginning to panic attack I said with a shaky voice, “What did you find? I don’t need anybody