was even here?”
“Your very useful friend went home and noticed that you weren’t there. She went out and checked the coffee shop, and since you weren’t there either, she called Ky to ask if he might know where you were. I overheard the conversation and ran out of the house. I honestly didn’t think I was going to find you here, but I was relieved when I pulled up and saw your car. You probably should have left a note for Harper.”
“I hadn’t even thought of that that.” My work excuse clearly would have been a bust.
His hair was drying in all different directions. I wanted to run my fingers through it. Instead of overthinking it as I usually would, I just did it. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation.
“Can I ask you something else?” He looked like he was going to ask me something that was a bit more personal than just my whereabouts.
“Yes.”
“Just now, while we were together, why the tears?” His face searched mine. Probably for any sign that I might get up and run. He deserved to hear what I had to say though.
I rolled to my side. “Okay, truth time. I’m sorry Finn. My reason for coming here and taking my things was for a bigger purpose. These past two months I’ve been shut off from the world moving forward how everyone expects me too. It’s exhausting!” I exhaled loudly, taking the time to choose my words carefully. “Want more truth?”
“Always.” He said.
“I don’t blame you Finn. That day that Val showed up, I looked at her and I heard her. What she said rang true with me, I wasn’t good enough for you. Deep down I knew she was right.”
His brows furrowed. “That’s a load of shit and you know it.”
I put my finger to his lips. “Wait, I’m not done talking yet.” When he stayed quiet I continued. “I didn’t feel like I was good enough for you Finn and I never have. In high school those girls who had more than I did, were prettier than I was, told me enough times that I believed them. I never looked at us like we were equals. When you left on grad night, I should have never let myself go. I realize now that I should have picked myself up and gone after what I wanted. Don’t you get it? I’m the one that I should have blamed all these years! I let you go too easy. If I had ignored all the petty talk around me I wouldn’t have let you walk away from me without a fight. Now here I am ten years later and I’m doing the exact same thing! I’m letting some trash-talking, blonde bimbo scare me away from believing that I deserved more in my life. This,” I motioned between us, “What we just shared is something that I’ll never forget.”
He swallowed hard and I saw his Adams apple move up and down. “It’s something that you can share with me anytime you want Em.”
My eyes softened. “I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through the past two months Finn. I’ve treated you so badly when you’ve done nothing but try to be there for me. Now don’t get me wrong, the lying and hiding things from me was not okay, but I accept your apology. But blaming you for losing my child and keeping you away from me is something that I’ll probably regret for the rest of my life. When my life was crashing down on me, you were my rock.” I paused to catch my breath. “What I’m trying to say to you is… I love you Finley Morgan, and I always have. You will always be the one great love of my life. Even after everything that has happened, over the course of ten years until right this moment, you will be my one and only.”
“Marry me Emilyn.”
My mouth dropped open. “What?”
“I said, marry me. I love you too. Be with me. Let me love you for the rest of our lives.”
I searched those piercing blue eyes for any sign that he was joking. He wasn’t, and I was about to crush him.
“Finn… I can’t.”
“Why not?”
I started crying. “The reason I’m telling you all of this is because I’m leaving. I’ve been thinking about this over the past few weeks and I think I need to leave and start over somewhere.” And before he could say what I knew he was going to